Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Orwell on Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:47 pm

There there, lassie, you're fittin' in just fine... just fine.... {{{More than fine! Rolling Eyes }}}

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Eldorion on Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:13 am

When the clans get riled up you just have to keep a firm hand (not around an eel though; that might give them ideas! Shocked).
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:14 am

Well I can see in my unfortuntate period whilst under the influence of the evil buckie things have been allowed to fester in this place. Most of the preceding posts on here are a disgrace.
Poor Mrs Figg comes to visit from Bree and is treated to scandal, rumour and idle gossip. No doubt fuelled by the evil of drink. Well no longer!
I must say Eldo for an Admin and a personage brought up in the eyes of Illuvatar your morality seems somewhat lax and your sense of humour not befitting one of your position.
As to Orwell, he clearly is one whom the darkness of buckie has touched turning him into a deranged pervert with salicous thoughts. This sort of thing will no longer be tolerated by me.

Mrs Figg, let me, on behalf of the moral backbone of Forumshire, apologise prefusely for the standard of comment that has greeted your arrival. It is simply not good enough and the mater will be rectified. There is far too much so called fun happening around here.

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Eldorion on Sun Nov 27, 2011 7:55 am

Are you sure that buckie is to blame for Orwell's ... ah, quirks? I thought that was more just who he is. Twisted Evil
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:17 am

It bears all the hallmarks of Buckie Eldo. I should know how it provocks the desire but lets one done at the finish! Sounds very like Orwell to me.

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mrs Figg on Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:25 pm

I came here to the Shire
with hope in my heart
and I was welcomed with
a buckie smelling f....
the clans they were tighter
than a scotshobbits purse
the lady hobbits ignore me
and I couldnt feel worse
so woe is me in this odd land
ill go back to Bree, eel in hand.

Sad



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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:36 pm

What? You cannot possibly be considering leaving Mrs Figg. I am looking forwrd in my sobriety to welcoming you fully and learning of your eel skills, which Odo tells me are prestigous.
Slow times and the previous mad goings on of myself or others, Orwell especially, may have given you the wrongful impression of being spurned in some fashion. But I do say you are quite wrong Mrs Figg, do not vacate Forumshire so soon after lighting up its dark days. The place would not be the same without you already. And drunk or sober all members are welcome valued members.

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mrs Figg on Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:49 pm

if theres a welcome in the gloamin
ill stop my roamin
travellin from Bree to Shire
I will never tire




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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mirabella on Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:55 pm

I'm only just home from the Shiriff's office, Mrs Figg (it's 12.50am and like the rest of the clan, must retire), but I've already taken to keeping a fond eye on you (two when I can) and have to congratulate you on being a feisty woman (not like most of the pale excuses for women in Forumshire Rolling Eyes). Any woman with as many pussies as you can only be excitingly interesting. (Folk are especially fond of pussies here. You just HAVE TO check out the Lolcats thread! Very Happy ) Please don't feel neglected, you're very welcome here!

Sadly, though, I'm off to bed, where all good Bankses should be just now... It's very late (or early????)! Good night! Sleep
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mrs Figg on Sun Nov 27, 2011 2:25 pm

dear Mirabella banks
thanks
I was a wuss
a silly little puss
I was only jokin
controversy stokin
I like it in the Shire
so no more fuss
or ill get a pokin
from petty n orwell
shirelanders fell
with goaty smell
alien


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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Eldorion on Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:34 pm

Phew! Very Happy You had me worried there for a bit, Mrs Figg.
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mrs Figg on Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:07 pm

sometimes you Shirefolk need pokin with a pointy stick or you start sleepin on the job, and thats unfortunate as some of ye are big chaps. nearly the size of oliphants



affraid
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Orwell on Sun Nov 27, 2011 9:09 pm

Shocked BIG!!!! So noticeable, is it? Sad Oh dear! I keep trying to get myself back on the diet - but I can't seem to motivate myself... Sad (The sad thing is - what I'm sayin' is soooo trooooo.... Sad There'll clearly be no Mrs Figg pokin' the way I'm goin', what with both age and weight creepin' up on me! Sad )

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mrs Figg on Mon Nov 28, 2011 4:47 pm

Embarassed pig
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by odo banks on Mon Nov 28, 2011 11:37 pm

Are you saying Orwell is an embarrassing pig? scratch (I guess if the snout fits... Shrugging )

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mrs Figg on Tue Nov 29, 2011 12:24 am

that Orwells a saucy un thats fer sure.

Suspect





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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by odo banks on Tue Nov 29, 2011 1:10 am

He's full of sauce, that's true. And like a lot of agin' folk he's out on the look out for younger women! Disgusting! Rolling Eyes You take care, Mrs Figg. After your (presumedly?) recent separation from Mr Figg, I fear you are vulnerable from such old and wily (and paunchy) menfolk! Venerable, is the word I'd use, though not as in "wise" (except in the ways of sauce Shocked ), no, I mean as in "wrinkly". Nod

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Orwell on Tue Nov 29, 2011 1:14 am

{{{Thanks a lot, Odo. Talkn about cramp an Ozhobbit's style... and my Missus might chance to look over my shoulder some time, so let's this... well, you know... wink wink nudge nudge... that kind of thing. I could of course talk about your Swedish au pair girl - if you want me too... and your kitchen help... and the maid...if you know what I mean... Nod }}}

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From "The True Tale of the Un-magical Coal Scuttle."
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by odo banks on Tue Nov 29, 2011 1:17 am

{{{I'm surwe I have exactly NO idea what you're on about, Orwell! But alright. But ony to keep the Peace between us!}}}

Mrs Figg, I've been thinking. I might have been wrong about Orwell. Lovely chap - as genuine as anyone I know - so he tells me. You can trust him (he told me that once, and surely he wouldn't lie about something like that Shrugging ).

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mrs Figg on Tue Nov 29, 2011 1:31 pm

Orwell Orwell from Ozhobbitstan
Ive a feelin hes a very naughty man
they seek him here, they seek him there
that saucy wee hobbit everywhere
is he in heaven, is he in Hades
hes always runnin after the ladeez

Shocked


Last edited by Mrs Figg on Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:10 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Orwell on Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:03 pm

cyclops

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"Skirts!" cried our respectable Master Odo. "Skirts! And they have the temerity to call them 'kilts'.... Eru darn my socks!"

From "The True Tale of the Un-magical Coal Scuttle."
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mrs Figg on Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:54 pm

are there no emoticons for little black pots and little black kettles, cos Ive a feelin they are going to be useful, in all dealings with certain Bankses. Suspect
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by odo banks on Wed Nov 30, 2011 2:12 am

How dare you, Mrs Figg! Shocked I must say, those kinds of negative suggestions are not welcome at our door! Rolling Eyes The folk who have been around Forumshire a long time will be able to vouch that I, for one, am not hypocritical in the least. Shrugging

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:28 am

"Ive a feelin they are going to be useful, in all dealings with certain Bankses."- Mrs Figgs

You've sussed out the Banks clan in no time at all Mrs Figg. cheers I also find carying a hefty length of stout wood about with me helps too in dealing with them at need.

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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.

Post by Mrs Figg on Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:13 pm

thick as a short plank, my old hobbit nan used to say, not about me obviously, but they do come in useful. those short planks.

Wink
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