The News of the Pure

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by odo banks on Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:36 am

Outrage begetting outrage, by the bucket full! Mad .. and I wasn't hiding by hedge, I was pruning my hedge - how else does one give himself the chance of winning Prestigious Prizes! scratch

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:42 am

Why isn't there a throwing up smiey? I need one. Glad I'm drunk.

I believe in their experience as journalists Eldo that they have found that the head of any state or government always has more than one squeeze, especially if they say they don't.
In fact in response to your comment the editor of the NotP has asked me to pass on this message; "We at the NotP accept your denial. Wink "

And Baingil they have asked what your current dress size is so they can make up a 'play along at home' chart for readers to plot your weight gain and loss, apparently they are calling it 'Baingil's bulemic to bloated parlour game.' Shocked

Odo you should know by now the journalists at the NotP always report people who refuse to answer questions as 'hiding', they say the same when instead of doing the interview they decide just to go to the pub for an hour instead.

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Baingil on Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:49 am

Thanks for the warning, Petty, I made sure to cut up and burn all the tags on my dresses so they can't figure it out. Very Happy Fire's going nicely, too. These work great as kindling!
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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:53 am

Yes they were thinking of doing a womans supplement but I'm not sure they are quiet suited to it. The only female staff members at NotP are Pretty, and she's more of a, um, field reporter you could say (or nightclub or bedroom), and the Hobbit Lasses, and they don't really count as staff as they don't get a say and they get paid mainly in innuendos.

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Baingil on Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:58 am

Well, they'll have to find someone else to bug about dress sizes! Laughing

Now... er... what temperature am I suppose to wash this in? I seem to be missing the tag... er, right.
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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Jul 03, 2011 7:03 am

Apparently a straw poll in the NotP offices for content for a womans supplement threw up this list of things women are interested in; "Nagging. Shoes. Pretty flowers. Looking good on page 3. Shoes again. Cake. Puppies with large eyes and one floppy ear. More shoes. Bum sizes. Handbags. Viggo Mortensen and Sean Bean. Moaning about buckie consumptition. And finally, just to be sure, shoes again.'

Actually on reflection they might be on to something- that would probably sell!

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Baingil on Sun Jul 03, 2011 7:10 am

You forgot the adorable kittens. How could you? Mad
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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Jul 03, 2011 7:13 am

See this is why they'd be no good at doing a Women's Supplement. I shall pass the tip on to them, although the only likely outcome to it is that next weeks Hobbit Lass of the Day will be holding a kitten in a discrete place.

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Eldorion on Sun Jul 03, 2011 7:15 am

Pettytyrant101 wrote:I believe in their experience as journalists Eldo that they have found that the head of any state or government always has more than one squeeze, especially if they say they don't.
In fact in response to your comment the editor of the NotP has asked me to pass on this message; "We at the NotP accept your denial. Wink "

If I had other squeezes, the NotP wouldn't have had to lower its journalistic standards below even their own usual lows to invent a romance between me and Leelee. Cool
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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Kafria on Sun Jul 03, 2011 9:57 am

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Apparently a straw poll in the NotP offices for content for a womans supplement threw up this list of things women are interested in; Sean Bean.

Hmmmmm! Nod

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Jul 03, 2011 2:48 pm

Say what you like about the NotP (and you can its all free advertising from their point of view) but they do seem to know their readership!

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Saradoc on Sun Jul 03, 2011 7:58 pm

Making stories up? Really? It's a disgrace if you ask this (outraged) reader!

((( Don't tell anyone, but I actually came up with the story! Pretty easy, it was, in truth. I just thought of the women that Eldo knows:

Queen Tin
Leelee
Kafria
Ally
Not Squach- I wouldn't sink that low!
Eldorion Could of been an interesting story though, for sure...

And there you go! A nice juicy story sold to the folks at the NOTP! Great paper by the way! )))

Oh and for the record I also like Sean Bean. Just saying! Very Happy

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:19 pm

Seems the NotP has hit on something with this Sean Bean lark, now the editor is thiking of having a win a date with Sean Bean contest (I doubt its success, as far as I am aware Sean Bean does not tend to get paid in buckie) but they are formulating questions now, you know the sort where you fill in the blank. Latest one is;

"If Sean Bean were a car I would wear................................... to soap him down? (Winners must submit to palantazzi pictures as proof of willingness).

Somehow I don't think this is a flyer. (Or respectable- but then it is the NotP!)

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Saradoc on Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:25 pm

Call me crazy, but I think that women have a pretty big advantage over men in this competition. Of course unless Mr Bean likes men who wear multicoloured summer themed three-quarter shorts and crocs...but of course I'm not writing the questions! cheers

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:34 pm

If the NotP are wanting to take pictures of the prize winner soaping down a car I can say I recon with a fair degree of certainty they will not pick a male winner!

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Tinuviel on Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:03 am

I find it all quite entertaining!!! It's best reading it when you don't have anything to worry about being exploited or blown out of proportion.
I can't help it if I don't do anything scandolous Shrugging

(((((( I need a sighing smiley. I miss the good old days when I could drink all of the buckie I wanted and be scandolous and all people cared about was what Beren would do. Now I have an image to uphold as a Queen. Maybe I should have an alter ego................))))))))))))))))

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:05 am

I am sure the upcoming picnic will give you a chance to let your hair down your Maj. Its a long standing Tyrant clan tradition that at such a gathering all titles and positions are dropped and all meet as equals to fight over the buckie. Very Happy

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Tinuviel on Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:08 am

That's would comfort me except I know that Notp will be waiting for me to do something stupid! In fact, they'll be all over all of us afterwards!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:10 am

I fear that may be very true, and um in order to cover the extra expense of this years event I needed sponsors and the NotP were the only ones willing, in return they get full access to the picnic and exclusive pictures. But on the otherhand they would have found out anything that happens anyway so we may as well get them to pay for the buckie. Very Happy

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Tinuviel on Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:13 am

Fantastic pale

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Eldorion on Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:28 am

Whatever happened to paparazzi-free zones? The Forumshire Government might have to step in and declare certain areas legally off-limits to reporters in order to preserve the dignity of the Monarchy and the Administration. A super-respectability injunction! Mad
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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Tinuviel on Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:06 am

Agreed! This is ridiculous!!!

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Ringdrotten on Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:55 pm

"Jævla stor sild"

Another priceless NotP edition Very Happy

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue Jul 19, 2011 12:06 am

That piece was filed by their Norway correspondent- no one here knows what it means!

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Re: The News of the Pure

Post by Ringdrotten on Tue Jul 19, 2011 12:10 am

It means ""#!%¤! huge herring" - not so funny when taken out of context, but hilarious in Norwegian in a NotP article in English Laughing

Edit: Profanity filter added Smile


Last edited by Ringdrotten on Tue Jul 19, 2011 12:17 am; edited 1 time in total

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