Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by azriel on Tue Nov 28, 2017 10:12 pm

Very Happy

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Eldorion on Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:11 pm

I love it. Laughing Always good to get to explore hitherto unseen corners of Forumshire. cyclops
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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by azriel on Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:36 pm

I'm thinking of decorating my Hole in time for yule, could do with a spruce up Smile

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Bluebottle on Fri Dec 01, 2017 11:59 pm

Dear Pure Publications, courtesy of Mr Tyrant, I think we might need to have a little talk about the standard terms of your distribution contract. Specifically in relation to Regulation 2016/679.

As the Data protection officer of this little Shire I would like to be made aware of the reason and justifications for claimed legitimacy of Pure Publication's handling of the personal data of clients. I quote the standard contract:

"*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder."

I await your response with temerity, tranquility and trepidation.

Yours sincerely,

Eat a Peach,

Mr Blue Bottle, esq
tsc pp cc eqc ad nf dd pcc obem

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Bluebottle on Sat Dec 02, 2017 2:26 pm

Ah, haha, I wrote that because when I hit last read post one came up with you talking about Pure Publications and the contract terms, turns out that wasn't the last thread post however. Razz Seems I have missed some installments Shocked

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Feb 25, 2018 9:56 pm

{{Just a heads up the next chapter of this story should be up either tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest- I know its been ages- life! So incase anyone wants to reread the last chapter to remember what the buggery it was about I thought I'd let you know more is on the way! }}}

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Eldorion on Sun Feb 25, 2018 11:48 pm

I'm glad to hear that this tale will be continuing. Nod
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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by azriel on Mon Feb 26, 2018 5:32 pm



Oooooh goodie !

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue Mar 06, 2018 1:25 pm

{{Um, yes this Wednesday I meant obviously!! Bloody snow!!! Mad }}}

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by halfwise on Tue Mar 06, 2018 1:26 pm

Wednesday will be perfect, that's when WE will have snow.

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Eldorion on Tue Mar 06, 2018 9:22 pm

halfwise wrote:Wednesday will be perfect, that's when WE will have snow.

Why couldn't it be Thursday instead? Last week the winds caused the campus to close on Friday, the day after my once-a-week class, now the snow is coming a day early? Damn weather. Mad
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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Thu May 17, 2018 8:08 pm

{{My these Wednesdays fly by!!!  Shocked I swear 80% of this has been done for ages, but trying to find the time for the other 20%  Mad But got there finally- hopefully not so long to the next one this time- sorry!! }}



{{edit add as its been so long since the last part and in light of Halfy's comment below- }}


The story so far-  Upon his death bed Paw McTyrant, owner of Forumshire's prestigious Buckie Factory, gave ownership to his evil and manipulative daughter Pretty, disinheriting his oldest son Petty in the process, a feckless but harmless idiot.
Spurred on however by Halfwise, a talking ball of fur Petty had wrongly thought was his fathers mutant pet haggis, to reclaim his rightful inheritance they set off together- with Halfwise astride a fine pair of boots and upon stilts under an old suit of Paws- on a plan to gain the favour of the only person who can help Petty regain his right, the Admin of Forumshire herself Amarie.
Halfwise explains his plan to Petty to take her a gift of such unique and personal meaning that she will be swayed to their cause but Petty fails to grasp the steps involved though he does notice every time it costs his sporran.
To this end Halfwise first tried to aid Petty in gaining information on the Admins likes and dislikes from the Admin's neighbour Odo Banks, but this ended in failure when Petty made a complete mess of the plan.
Following a lead that an eel wrangler might have such knowledge they then attempted to enter Mrs Figg's Shoppe for Discreete Ladies, unfortunately Mrs Figg's shop proved hard to find and was only open to women of a certain age in any case. Leading to the necessity of dressing Petty up as a woman as well as the tricky business of locating an invisible door.
Once again however he failed miserably, finding the door but failing to get any information at all from Mrs Figg when her ginger tom cat sniffed him out and revealed him to be, just about, a man. Resulting in his frying by electric eel and being thrown from the shop, leaving Halfwise no choice but to drag up and show Petty how it should be done.....





9.


“Well, how do I look kiddo?”


They were once more standing outside the clothes shop and the earlier bustle of the day was lessening around them as the afternoon wore on towards closing time.


Petty considered Halfwise's question. Words were not Petty's strong point, unless they were slurred, hurled drunkenly or ranted crabbitly, so he was a little stuck as to how best to describe what he was looking at. What he was looking at was a large ball of fur with bright eyes staring out from between the brim of a huge floppy hat with a feather in it and the high stiffly starched neck collar of a very modest deep purple dress.


Halfwise had modified things a bit in the shop and the dresses arms now contained some sort of stuffing and tubing which allowed him, from his position perched at the head to have limited movement of the arms, they ended in a pair of white cloth gloves which he could operate via a cunning series of wires and pulleys and springs.


Indeed if you just considered the dress, with its fine bowed bustle, and the hat with feather you had the very image of discreet womanhood of a certain age and class. The problem, and it was a big one Petty thought, was the fact Halfwise was still, undisputedly, a ball of fur in a dress.


“Um,” Petty said slowly, “yi look like yi've run away frae the Bearded Lady tent at the circus,” he concluded “fir huvin' tae big a beard.”


“I've thought of that,” Halfwise retorted and shook himself which caused the hat to shake too and from it a veil unfurled dropping down in front of his bright eyes and covering his hairy being.


“Ah cun still see yir'e hairy through it,” Petty commented dryly, “yon Figg's is goona see it tae.”


“I know,” Halfwise said walking in his long silted stride along the row of shops, “I'm counting on it kiddo.”

“Whit?” Petty said confused as ever.


“Woman of a certain age, with an unsightly facial hair problem. Where else would I go with such an embarrassing social condition but to a shop for discreete ladies?”


“But whur ur wi going tae noo?” Petty asked as he realised Halfwise was not leading them towards Figg's shop which was across the square but along the row.


“The Fishmongers.”


“Whit?” Petty contributed, finding new levels of confusion, “whit wi going thur fur?”


Halfwise stopped abruptly and spun round, pivoting on a singe stilt to face Petty, “Fish, obviously,” he barked and then pivoted back round in one smooth half circular turn and strode on.










Ten minutes later they were back outside of Figg's front door, or at least they hoped they were. Petty had a sporran overflowing with fish.


“Right kiddo, you go down that alleyway and find a way into the back yard and signal me if you can see that cat, got it?”


“Aye,” Petty nodded and then hesitated, “bit whit if yon moggies noo there?”


“Then you have to try and lure it out with the fish, lay a trail or something.”


“Richt,” Petty nodded patting the fish. He scuttled off down the alley which was narrow and mainly contained bins. He followed the gable end of Figg's shop to where it ended and a wooden fence began. The rear yard of the shop was it seemed quite large, and though Petty could not see over the top of the fence he could see the roofs of sheds and outhouses and hear a series of odd watery gurgling noises. Eventually he found a gate, as tall as the fence, it had a latch and a notice pinned to the wood which read “No Entry. Bugger off even if you are a tradesmen. Guild of Eel Wranglers only!”
Petty ignored this and flicked up the latch and opened the gate enough to poke his head through and peer inside.


The cat was sitting on the windowsill at the back of the house above a bobbing row of bright yellow flowers that grew in a window box. There was a wide space of washed flagstones behind the shop and then a series of round wooden open topped drums, some up to six foot across from within which came odd gurgling and occasional splashes. These in turn where connected by an implausibly complicated looking series of pipes and hoses to a large shed with smaller sheds either side of it which backed against the high rear red brick wall of the yard.


Petty eyed up the cat and waved the fish at it, “'Hey, pussy,” he hissed, and then tearing off a strip of the fish he threw it in the cat's direction, it landed wetly with a slap on the flagstones and the cat's yellow eyes darted towards it. It stretched on the sill, arched its back and then heavily hopped down onto the flagstones nose twitching but eyes glancing round warily. When nothing intervened it pounced on the strip of fish and began eating with a low heavy purr.


Petty grinned and stuck his head back out the gate and gave a big thumbs up to Halfwise and a broad grin. He went back into the yard, the strip of fish was almost completely devoured, Petty tore off a second piece and threw it down near to the cat. It growled up at Petty but then went to the second piece of fish and hunching protectively over it with one glaring eye on Petty in case he might want it back, began to eat.


Petty was feeling smug with himself, this would show Halfwise he was capable. It was then he noticed the various fishing nets that were laid out on a rack in front of the shed and the poles of bamboo that held up some runner beans that grew against the inside of the fence. He glanced at the cat and a grin formed amid his boils and blemishes, he had had an idea! Not only was he going to show Halfwise he was competent enough to distract the cat, he was going to prove just how smart he was too and catch it in a cunning trap.


As it would turn out he was exactly right about proving just how smart he was.








Halfwise acknowledged Petty's thumbs up and disturbing smile which opened like a crevice in a lava field and pivoted neatly round and strode on his stilts towards the shop door, which though he couldn't see he had at least memorised the location of.


A bell tinkled as he pushed open the suddenly clear door and he entered the dimly and discreetly lit surrounds of Mrs Figg's Emporium.
As Petty had done before him he wound his way through the displays of non-priced goods, the odd clutter of furniture, subtle lighting, even subtler smells (with just the faint hint of cat) and a lot of bulky rectangular objects of various sizes with exotic cloths draped over them. Like everything in the shop Halfwise was not sure what was decoration and what was for sale. He did however eventually find the counter and Mrs Figg rummaging about behind it with her back to him, he coughed politely from beneath his veil to attract her attention.


Figg stood up startled and turned to him, “Oh sorry dear, had my head in a box didn't hear the bell go. What can I do for you?” she paused and squinted at Halfwise's face shaded as it was beneath the beard.


Halfwise decided not to stall on his reasoning but to use her look as his excuse to immediately broach the subject, “I can see you have already noticed the malady which has afflicted me in my maturer years,” he said in his best high female tones- of which he was rather proud having learned whilst having to play a Doll in Guys and Dolls for two years after a complicated series of events in his youth, “I have to wear this veil to stop children taunting me and men turning from me in disgust. I do so hope you can help me.”


Figg nodded, “Lets have a brew,” she suggested and sitting down, and indicating Halfwise should do likewise, even if it did first involve moving some boxes from the only available chair on his side of the counter and getting into a chair- none of which was easy for someone trying to operate a dress made of tubing from the inside. Meanwhile Figg went about pouring two cups of tea from a fine porcelain teapot, “I have to say as I ain't seen a case quick like yours, though similar, just not so,” she hesitated to consider her words and sipped her tea, “all over,” she settled on, “but I reckon the treatments the same.”


“Then you can help me?” Halfwise enthused, “I would be so grateful, had it not been for the kindness of Ambassador Amarie.”

“The Ambassador?” Figg interrupted.


“Oh yes,” Halfwise went on, “she has been very caring and kind to me, I only wish I had some ways to repay such kindness.”


“Yes, “ Figg agreed with a degree of cunning that would have impressed her cat, “I hears often these days about how kind the Ambassador is,” she took another sip of her tea and eyed up Halfwise till it made him uncomfortable, “Fjordian Fire Eels!” she suddenly cried, causing Halfwise to involuntary jump and spill hot tea on himself, which was a pity as it had taken him till now to move his awkwardly made pipe tube arms and pull on all the necessary wires he had installed to manipulate the glove hand to grasp the teacup and bring it anywhere near his face. He had only just succeeded. Now he was wearing it.


“Pardon!” he squeaked as the hot tea seeped through his fur to what was below.


“Fjordian fire eels, extract of gall and a dash of this and that and should soon burn that extra fuzz right off.”


“Um, did you say burn?” Halfwise enquired trying to maintain his feminine tones over the worry in his voice.


“Oh not all at once,” Figg said getting up and coming out from behind her desk, “not hot, hot, more of a long slow burn once it prepared, gets a bit nippy, but be worth it in your case,” she said sidling past Halfwise towards the rows of patterned drapes, “now where's my pussy got to?” she mused as she grabbed a diamond design drape in one firm hand, “I likes to know where he is when I'm popping out for a minute,” she said as she jerked the cloth down revealing beneath it a large oil painting depicting a street market next to a small fishing harbour somewhere rural and unremarkable beneath a dull grey sky, “ah there we go.”


“Um, very nice, bit dull though,” Halfwise remarked carefully easing himself upwards on his stilts out of the chair and feeling like he had lost hold of this conversation somewhere and it had run off on its own.


“Fjordian, famous painter he was, his name translates as Odin's Angryavalanche. You ever wonder why all the great painters every so often paint something dull as ditch water?”


“Um, no, not really,” Halfwise replied cautiously, still trying to find a bit of conversation he felt he could jump back onto.


“They paint great battles, famous folks strutting it in their fancy pants, ladies of the court, mistresses of the fancy men with no pants at all, great mountains with brooding clouds, magnificent seascapes with towering waves and great ships upon them, stuff folks interested in, that you don't see everyday,” she tapped the Fjordian painting which was slightly taller than she was, “and then they go paint some little town scene, or a harbour maybes, or some market place, a piece of total boring mundaneness, common old everyday life you can see for yerself if you just stick yer head out of the window and look,” she turned to Halfwise with a grin he really did not like the look of, “now why do you suppose they go do that then?”


“I, really have no idea,” Halfwise said hesitantly.


“Then I'll tell you, its so those who know how can do this!” and grabbing Halfwise by the scruff of his dress at the high neck collar she threw him at the painting. There was a flash of bright light which when it subsided did so to reveal that they were standing on a cobble road beside a small nondescript harbour where two plain and uninteresting fishing boats bobbed, and nearby a small market was taking place under a very dull and uninteresting grey sky.


Halfwise blinked, “Um, hey, am I inside a painting?”


“Looks that way doesn't it,” Figg remarked, “but not exactly, your not inside the painting, your actually here, or there depending on hows your looking at it.”


“And here is where exactly?”


“Where he painted it of course.”


“So we are in Fjordianland?”


“Spot on.”


“We've moved?”


“Sort of moved. My shops right there, not a foot away and Fjordianlands here, take is as it is I say. Besides you shouldn't be worrying about the moving, more that this painting was made more than two hundred years ago,” Figg reminded him as she led them towards the bright canopies of the market stalls.


“We're in Fjordianland, two hundred years ago?” Halfwise gasped.


“Now yer getting it.”


“Ok,” Halfwise took a deep breath, it contained salt sea air, “can we get to the how and why now?”


Figg laughed as she led them between the first two stalls, “There's more to eel-wrangling than most folks think.”


“I think most folks think there is quite a lot to it already actually,” Halfwise responded.


“We do like to give that impression, and it's true most of the time,” Figg went on, “but you needs other skills beside wrangling, that's fine for eels and courts and princes and princesses, the rich the powerful, a good wrangler will do just fine in that company, but you needs to get your hands on stuff that sometimes ain't so easy to acquire. Ingredients and such like for the wrangling. And the other Guilds, well they've got their secrets just like the Wranglers Guild do ours, and when I was a gal in Italiashire I got interested in art, and what with my wrangling skills soon got to know their Guild secrets too. This being one of the bigger ones you might say. The dull paintings are painted for a purpose. “


“I had no idea,” Halfwise commented.


“Most folk don't, Guild secret. And there's other ways some Wranglers use, music works, words too but they are trickier, nothing is at good as art in my book, you get straight to the point because you can walk right in. Commissioned this one myself.”


“Two hundred years ago?” Halfwise asked surprised.


“I said was when I was still a gal,” Figg snorted annoyed.


“So if you commissioned it, why paint here?”


“See this market, eel market and that stall ahead of us?”


“Yeah.”


“That's where we get what we need, gall of the red fire eel, they're extinct now sadly.”


“We are here for supplies?”


“Do you want cured my dear or not?” Figg demanded putting her hands firmly on her hips.


“Why of course I do!” Halfwise retorted, only now realising that whilst he had maintained the voice out of practised habit and on auto-pilot he had in his shock at events forgotten completely he was supposed to be a woman with a distressing facial hair problem. Figg's question had prodded him back to alertness.


“Right then, I'll need some money, this stuff isn't cheap,” Figg paused and then in moment of candour added, “actually here and now it's dirt cheap, but you ain't paying here and now prices, you're paying my shop prices and my shop is our time so that's our time prices. And what with inflation from now till then and the fact your purchasing what will by then be the gall of an extinct species, so very rare indeed,” she alleviated Halfwise of a sizeable chunk of Petty's buckie savings, “that should do it,” she said and a moment later she came away from the stall with something vile looking in a jar of fluid.


She led them back out of the stall and towards the area of cobbled harbour they had first appeared and then stopping she rounded on Halfwise and began to slowly unscrew the lid of the jar, “Right then shall we just get this slapped on then?”


“What just like that?” Halfwise grimaced at the purple wobbly thing Figg was trying to fish from its watery jar, “doesn't it need any preparation? So it doesn't burn you said?”


“Well it'll work either way, just be a mite hotter like this,” Figg said.


“Um so why would I want to do that?”


“Because I'm the only way back out of this place and I assume you want that, and because if you are a lady with an over abundance of facial hair then I'm the ruddy Queen of Forumshire,” she snarled, “and I don't even like golf.”


“Ah,” Halfwise sagged, dropping the voice, “you noticed then?”


“Your arms are just that dress stuffed with old papers and tubing with some gloves stuck on the end and from how you walk I reckon you're on stilts, watching you try to get in my chair was funny enough but I damn near wee'd myself watching you try to drink tea, how do you do the grabbing, you got some sort of wires in there?”


“Yeah,” Halfwise said, tugging on some wires and making his pretend left hand lift up and grasp and ungrasp.


“Very clever but you ain't fooling no one I suspect, and certainly not me, you must have thought I buttoned up the back. But I mean it about this,” she said holding up the jar with its blubbery contents, “I want to know who you are and what you want with me or this goes on, I don't know what's under all that fur but I ain't afraid to find out. Are you?”


“Fine” Halfwise sighed pulling some more wires and raising both arms in mock surrender, “My real name is Halfwise,” he sighed, “could you take this veil off, it s a bit awkward,” he plaintively waved an awkward tube arm at her.


She nodded and stepping forward whipped the veil and the hat from him revealing him in all his furry glory.


“Thought as much, met one of you lot before, Figwit or Figgit or something I think he called himself.”


“Hey, he's my cousin, both of them, we used to shoot pool together.”


Figg blinked trying to picture this, “That must have been interesting to see.”


“He always won, how is he?”


“Was doing well, twenty-five years ago.”


“Ah, I see.”


“Your lot are teachers, ain't you? Get put with some sap needs a lift up, and some right set wrong and you set them on the path, give them what they need to overcome themselves and all that stuff, bit of a Fairy God Furball ain't you?”


“Hey, like you say, all Guilds have their secrets.”


“And what's this one got to do with our Amarie? Can't just have you doing mysterious Guild things with the Admin of all Forumshire, not that she needs help taken care of herself mind.”


“I just need to get the person I am helping her approval, I need to know something really special, something personal to her that no-one else would think to get her as a gift, and I thought...”


“You thought an eel wrangler would know if anyone did, you think I can wrangle the Admin of Forumshire?” she said raising an eyebrow, “get out the secrets of a Council Member of the Dark Planet?”


Halfwise considered Figg, “Yeah,” he said finally.


“Well you'd be right, very disciplined that one,” she added with an eyebrow wiggle and Halfwise was very glad his fur disguised the shade of red he had gone as went Figg went on, “and seeing as I just cheerily ripped you off for an eel gall you don't actually need and because I am about to do it again for what you do actually need, I'll let you off with the deceit on one condition.”


“Ok, what condition?”


“That you never tell anyone there was a man in my shop! Be bad for business. So when you leave you do it in that ridiculous disguise and you can go out the back, agreed?”

“Agreed.”


“Right, well lucky for you there's a harbour in this painting,” she marched over to the nearest of the small fishing vessels and after a brief exchange of words and an even larger exchange of more of Petty's buckie money, she returned with a small bucket of ice containing blubbery things.


“So what's that?” Halfwise enquired.


“That is half of the ingredients you will need to make,” she paused to take a deep breath, “skitten råtten stinker høyere enn Odins underbukser, skremmende overraskelse fisken glede i en kremaktig curdled saus,” she heaved in a huge lung full of air.


“It's what?”


“Food, the sort you only get in the one small village Admin Amarie grew up in in Fjordianland, incredibly rare, a very local delicacy. Mainly 'cause anyone not local and in their right mind, and who hadn't been raised since birth on the stuff wouldn't go near it. But I so happen to know she adores this stuff above all else but she can hardly ever get hold of it. You give her this she won't forget it in a hurry.”


She strode back to the unremarkable bit of harbour they had materialised from and raised her hand, there was another flash of light and Halfwise blinked, they were back in Mrs Figg's dimly lit shop.


“I hope my pussy hasn't got into any mischief,” Figg said and handed Halfwise the bucket of fish.


“You said this was half of what I need?” Halfwise reminded her, “do you have the other half?”


“Nope,” Figg said looking round behind the desk for her cat and then sticking her head through the door which led to the large kitchen beyond, “But I knows who does. Here boy,” she cried quickly grabbing a quill from the counter and dashing down on a sheet of parchment something in list form, then still calling for her cat went into the kitchen. Halfwise followed her.


There was a loud crash from the yard outside and a hiss from a cat followed by a yelp a cry, a second louder thud, one “oh bugger it!” and a lot of swearing, a noise that sounded like 'sproing' followed by “bugger it, bugger it, bugger it!”some more yelping, a splash and a sound like 'zap!” followed by more yelping.


The large ginger cat hopped up onto the windowsill and squeezed through the open window above looking happy and smug and with a large fish in its mouth.


“Where you get that boy?” Figg frowned, “Whose out there?” she called at more yelping and thumping sounds for without, “whose been feeding my pussy?”


With an all too familiar sinking feeling Halfwise followed Figg out into the yard beyond. It took only a glance for Halfwise to ascertain what they had missed. There was a long stick wedged into the base of a water barrel and attached to it was a net which must originally have been set on the ground with the stick bent over, ready to spring back on anything enterting the net, capturing it and sending it flying up to be deposited, still within the net, into the barrel itself.


With a very resigned feeling of foreknowledge Halfwise's eyes turned upwards to the top of the barrel where a wet, netted and occasional blue from electrocution by eel Petty was grasping the barrel's edge.


“Oh, eh, hi Halfwise! A didnae suppose yi cud see yir way tae maebes letting me doon, please!” he cried as a bolt of electricity surged through him extending his hair outwards.


“You are with him?” Figg said incredulously.


“He is the one I'm assigned to teach,” Halfwise shrugged wearily.


“Oan the plus side, ma trap worked like a charm,” Petty cried as a passing eel slapped him full of electricity again making his teeth click together.


“Now that's a short straw if I ever saw one, “Figg remarked, “We better get him down before he frightens my eels to death,” she added with some annoyance.


Once the water logged and gently smoking Petty was cut from his netting and recovered Halfwise once again thanked Figg for her help, adding, “but there is the matter of the other half of the recipe? You said you know who could help.”


“You'll find her at the harbour, can't miss her, be the only Fjordian Viking vessel in dock.”


“And who am I looking for?”


“The one that swearing the most,” Figg grinned, “she will be able to get you what you need, for a price,” she handed Halfwise the piece of parchment, “here's the recipe and how to make it,” she glanced down at Petty who as recuperating on the floor by occasionally twitching and moaning, “you sure he is worth it?”


“No,” Halfwise sighed, “but thwarting his sister is.”


“And who might she be?”


“Pretty Tyrant.”


“Oh her,” Figg said with a grimace, “you should have said that at the beginning. Can't stand that blown up plastic manufactured vacuous cow. I'd have given you what you need for nothing if you'd just said.”


“What?” Halfwise gasped thinking of all Petty's buckie money he had spent and the fact he had still to inform Petty of this.


“Still, too late now,” Figg smiled happily, “You two can go out the back gate so as no one sees you, and remember, you were never in my shop.”


She ushered Halfwise and Petty, who crawled most of the way, out of the rear entrance before Halfwise could mount a protest, “was very nice meeting you, and especially nice doing business with you, just don't ever come back!” she said and slammed the gate closed and bolted it on the other side.


“That wunt well,” Petty observed, “did it go well?”


Halfwise sighed, “Come on Kiddo, we are going to the harbour.”


“Whit fir?”


“If I explained it to you would it actually make any difference?”


Petty considered this, “Nah, probably noo,” he conceded, “considering A've nae idea why wi've done oany o' this stuff sae far.”


“That's what I thought kiddo,” Halfwise said striding off, “that's what I thought.”


Last edited by Pettytyrant101 on Fri May 18, 2018 1:52 am; edited 2 times in total

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Pettytyrant101
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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by halfwise on Thu May 17, 2018 9:43 pm

I'm afraid I've lost track of what the plan is all about. scratch Nice ride though.

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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Eldorion on Thu May 17, 2018 10:18 pm

Love it. Laughing Great stuff Petty; I'm really happy to see this tale continue! {{{Thought it means I have even less of an excuse for letting my writing languish. pale }}}

halfwise wrote:I'm afraid I've lost track of what the plan is all about.  scratch  Nice ride though.

Their goal is to find a gift for Admin Amarië that she would enjoy so much, it would convince her to help Petty win the buckie factory from Pretty. Similar to the plot of the original Puss in Boots where Puss brings the King gifts to win his favor, though who knows what twists and turns may lie ahead in this Forumshire version.
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Re: Crabbit Faery Tales and Folk Tales of Forumshire

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Fri May 18, 2018 12:53 am

{{That about sums it up Eldo Nod  And shorter than my edit add recap! }}

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