what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue May 29, 2018 3:04 pm

{{{Are you innocent of hundreds and thousands too then? 'Cause they're excellent on small cakes ect Nod  }}

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Fri Jun 08, 2018 7:33 pm

Getting mugged is no joke, i got mugged once and got hit over the back of the head with a power drill, was just walking along the road and all of a sudden "BOSCH"!!

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:28 am

{{{ :facepalm: Laughing }}}

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:58 pm

Guy..... I broke my arm in 3 places
Doctor....well stop going to those places then

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise on Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:10 pm

:facepalm:

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:03 am

Very funny Smile

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:41 am

A young lady teacher takes her class of infant schoolboys to a day at the races.
A few of the boys say they need to go to the toilet, but there isn't a man around, so she nips into
the gents, with the boys and starts lifting each one up to the urinals.
On lifting the third one up she looks down, is visibly shocked and says,
'My my, your a big boy, have you just joined the class?'
'No love, my name's Frankie and I'm riding Blue Thunder in the 2.30.'

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:47 am

What do you call a fat psychic?


A four chin teller

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:47 pm

oh gawd ! Laughing

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:52 pm

Spoiler:
A young Novice goes to the Mother Superior and says "After eight months in this Convent, I'm really missing sex"

The Mother Superior asks "Have you tried pleasuring yourself with a candle my child"?

The young Novice replies "Yes, but it's too boring, the same old thing, wick in and wick out"

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:54 pm

Will this upskirting law also include people taking photos up men's baggy shorts, or will this be a different private members bill?

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:55 pm

The world tongue twister champion was killed today in a tragic accident.



He was run over by a red lorry. Then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry...

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If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Sun Jun 17, 2018 8:13 am

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:17 pm

Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people...…..
We haven't met yet..

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If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:24 pm



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"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise on Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:19 pm

Laughing

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:31 pm

{{Currently 1-1 against Tunisia- seems about right  Very Happy And as usual for tonight every Scot is part Tunisian! 'Anyone but England' as the saying goes!  Very Happy }}}

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Tue Jun 19, 2018 9:01 am

My granddad was half Scottish half Irish, He had thick black hair that only started going grey a year or two before he died at 80yrs old. He was over 6ft & had to duck his head to get thru the door. Stern, took no crap from anyone, only believed what he saw or heard but, had a wonderful sense of humour. Took everything life threw at him without a grumble, he just got on with it.
He lived in England Very Happy

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by malickfan on Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:41 pm

azriel wrote:Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people...…..
We haven't met yet..

support groups for antisocial people are actually a thing though, nothing like cramming a bunch of people who hate talking to strangers together in a room with each other...

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I think what comes out of a pig's rear end is more akin to what Peejers has given us-Azriel 20/9/2014
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by halfwise on Tue Jun 19, 2018 8:57 pm

I think it helps if you give them a common enemy. They should have a group leader who thinks organized ice breakers are a good idea.

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by malickfan on Tue Jun 19, 2018 9:00 pm

halfwise wrote:I think it helps if you give them a common enemy.  They should have a group leader who thinks organized ice breakers are a good idea.

I was making a bit of a poor attempt at a joke there, but having been through a similar support group, they do help...it just takes a while to break the ice, people may or may not be antisocial but everyone has certain subjects they like talking about.

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The Thorin: An Unexpected Rewrite December 2012 (I was on the money apparently)
The Tauriel: Desolation of Canon December 2013 (Accurate again!)
The Sod-it! : Battling my Indifference December 2014 (You know what they say, third time's the charm)

Well, that was worth the wait wasn't it  Suspect


I think what comes out of a pig's rear end is more akin to what Peejers has given us-Azriel 20/9/2014
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by Forest Shepherd on Wed Jun 20, 2018 3:25 am

Like Tolkien!

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Thu Jun 21, 2018 3:56 am


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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Thu Jun 21, 2018 9:14 am

oh gawd :facepalm: Smile

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 Yesterday at 6:40 am

Wife: "Remember our wedding night? You were so eager you didn't even give me time to take my stockings off."
Husband: "Tonight you'll have time to knit yourself a pair"

Benny Hill.

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