what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Sun Oct 21, 2018 2:25 pm



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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:13 pm



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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Thu Nov 08, 2018 3:13 am


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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Thu Nov 08, 2018 8:39 am

Smile

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Thu Nov 15, 2018 4:56 am

Guy goes to see his doctor, "Doc I need a bunch of viagra"

Doc says "What on earth for"

Guy says "Well my ex wife is coming around Friday night and she's up for it, on Saturday my neighbour is coming around and she is gagging for it, and on Sunday my ex wife's sister coming around, and we always get it together"

Doc says "Well here's a prescription but take care"

Monday the guy turns up at the surgery to see the doc. He has his right arm in a sling.

Doc says "What on earth happened to you"

Guy says "No one turned up"
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Thu Nov 15, 2018 5:00 am


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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Thu Nov 15, 2018 8:06 pm

:facepalm: Laughing Laughing not again

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Fri Nov 16, 2018 4:00 am


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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Fri Nov 16, 2018 4:03 am


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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Fri Nov 16, 2018 4:20 am


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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Fri Nov 16, 2018 10:59 am

lol! IL have to give it to you this time Smile

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Mon Nov 19, 2018 5:56 pm

Two silk worms were in a race....
Ended in a tie..

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Mon Nov 19, 2018 5:58 pm



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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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azriel
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Tue Nov 20, 2018 5:29 am




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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Thu Nov 22, 2018 4:20 am


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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Fri Nov 30, 2018 12:04 am

An Asian gentleman has moved in next door
He has traveled the world
He has swam with sharks
Wrestled bears
Climbed the highest mountain
It came as no surprise to learn his name is
Bindair Dundat

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Fri Nov 30, 2018 12:05 am

This morning I went to a meeting at my premature ejaculation support group. Turns out it’s tomorrow

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Fri Nov 30, 2018 12:06 am

I bought an advent calendar from a Jehovah Witness, every time you open a door it tells you to f..k off.

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Fri Nov 30, 2018 12:25 am

Roman Centurion
" You won't believe how many women I've slept with"

Second Centurion
"MMM?"

1st Centurion
" Don't be ridiculous, not that many!"

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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Thu Dec 06, 2018 7:49 pm



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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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azriel
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by malickfan on Sat Dec 08, 2018 9:52 pm

Laughing

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The Thorin: An Unexpected Rewrite December 2012 (I was on the money apparently)
The Tauriel: Desolation of Canon December 2013 (Accurate again!)
The Sod-it! : Battling my Indifference December 2014 (You know what they say, third time's the charm)

Well, that was worth the wait wasn't it  Suspect


I think what comes out of a pig's rear end is more akin to what Peejers has given us-Azriel 20/9/2014
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Wed Jan 02, 2019 9:39 am

A survey said that, people who slept with their pets have fewer allergies, helps the immune system, helps them live longer...………………….Bullshit

I tried sleeping with my goldfish & I nearly fecking drowned !

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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azriel
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by chris63 on Fri Jan 04, 2019 11:41 am


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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Fri Jan 04, 2019 5:35 pm

There's been some thug called Cal going round breaking in to people's houses around Eastbourne for months, but the police couldn't catch him. The weirdest thing about it all is he was breaking into people's houses just to ruin their washing machines by putting bricks in to them & turning them on!!!!! Really weird if you ask me... Anyway, just read that he was found dead. It's never nice hearing of someones death, but on the bright side, washing machines live longer with Cal gone !!

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



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azriel
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Posts : 14138
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Re: what sort of jokes can I get away with? [3]

Post by azriel on Fri Jan 04, 2019 5:35 pm

My mate Gav passed away after overdosing on indigestion medication....I'm really sad that Gav is gone!!

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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.”
"There are far, far, better things ahead than any we can leave behind"
If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got



avatar
azriel
Grumpy cat, rub my tummy, hear me purr

Posts : 14138
Join date : 2012-10-07
Age : 59
Location : in a galaxy, far,far away, deep in my own imagination.

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