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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue Jan 28, 2020 1:47 pm

Placing the
Spoiler:
Ruth Doctor.

Ok there are theories swirling as you'd expect. So lets have a nosey at them and see what seem likely, and what breaks stuff!

Theory 1- Its a pre-Hartnell Doctor from a previously unknown entirely female regeneration cycle the Doctor had, and then whatever happened that so upset the Master happened, the Dotor got her memories wiped and forced tor regenerate into a male child, the 1st Doctor as we know him.

Main issue here, putting aside the whole idea stinks, is the TARDIS- Ruth is shaped like a police box which didn't happen until after the 1st Doctor stole her and landed in 1960's UK. If she was pre Hartenll then she should not have the same TARDIS and it should have a working chameleon circuit to blend in whenever it goes, not look like a 1960s police box.
I just cant see a way round this discrepancy- we have seen on screen in Name of the Doctor the 1st Doctor with Susan escaping Gallifrey and stealing that particular TARDIS. We know exactly when it got stuck as police box as after leaving 1960's earth in only the 2nd episode of the show the Doctor notices it hasn't changed shape and is worried by it and wonders whats happened.
So I think this one is a non-starter personally. And I hope it is.

Theory 2- She fits between the 2nd Doctor and the 3rd.
This is based off two things- that we never saw the 2nd Doctor change- his regeneration was forced on him by the Time Lord's as punishment, and during the 6th Doctor era the episode The Two Doctors had 2 and 6 teaming up, and there was no attempt made to cover for the fact Troughton was older and his hair had gone almost entirely grey. This has led to fan theories that the 2nd Doctor was not forced to regenerate immediately but was instead forced to work for the Gallifreyean Time Agency doing stuff for them for years, hence his older appearance. But other than the fan theory there is nothing to back it up.
Now there is at least room here to insert a regeneration we didnt know about between 2 and 3 to a point, but there are issues. Ruth doesn't recognise the sonic screwdriver and by time of 2's forced regen he had already invented one. And when we first see 3, stumbling from his TARDIS and collapsing out the door he is still wearing 2's outfit.
So that theory would seem unlikely as well without breaking things.

Every other regeneration is accounted for and we have seen on screen.

So it would appear that Ruth cannot be pre-Hartnell without messing stuff up, nor can she be between 2 and 3 without messing stuff up, and she cant be between any other regen as we have seen them all with our won eyes.

So what does that leave?
Well here's what we know-

Ruth has a TARDIS that's shaped lie a police box.
Ruth does not recognise the sonic screwdriver.
Ruth does not remember ever being the 13th Doctor.
The 13th Doctor doesn't remember ever being Ruth.
Gat, the Gallifreyean pursuing Ruth seems to be in synch with her, their idea of events matches, its 13 who is out of step.
Gat works for the Gallifreyean Empire. There is no Gallifreyean Empire and has not been since the days of the Sisterhood and the first reigns of Rassilon.
Neither Ruth nor Gat has any knowledge of Gallifrey's destruction in either the Time War or by the Master.

To me this all points towards some sort of alternative reality/time going wrong and splitting version. That would explain neither remembering being the other one, how Ruth could have a TRADIS shaped like a police box, why there is a Gallifreyean Empire still and why she has no sonic and is a touch more direct and brutal than our Doctor.

If that were the case then its also possible the version of the Master we have seen is also from this alternative version but much later in its time stream, which would also explain why for him Gallifrey is still in a bubble universe and why he doesn't seem to fit as either a pre Missy or a post Missy regeneration.

So for now that's my favoured theory as barring some very clever writing, which Chibnal has yet to display, I don't see how he does it any other way without seriously breaking canon and the shows 50 year history.
}}

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Post by Mrs Figg on Tue Jan 28, 2020 4:52 pm

Petty do you really think that Chibers cares or knows about canon and has even thought seriously about the regeneration. I think he just thought a female black Doctor would be cool, and might increase the terrible ratings, that was the extent of it imo. I think that's why we saw Jack, it was 'cool', and it took attention away from the dire dialogue and ratings. I think Chibers is just flip-flopping from one derivative idea to another.

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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue Jan 28, 2020 5:04 pm

{{ He claims he does Figg- today in fact. In an interview with the Mirror which only muddies the waters!

'Chibnall said that Martin, who becomes the first black actor in the iconic role, is not playing a fake or phoney version.

“The important thing to say is – she is definitively the Doctor,” he explained. “There's not a sort of parallel universe going on, there's no tricks.
"Jo Martin is the Doctor, that's why we gave her the credit at the end which all new Doctors have the first time you see them. John Hurt got that credit.”

“There will be answers to some of these mysteries this series. But as ever with Doctor Who, answers often reveal new questions. It's all very deliberate.”
He said that he was not scared by those who said he should not meddle with the so-called Whoniverse.
“We’re telling an ongoing story and there are plenty of things in Doctor Who that change all the time but I’m very aware of the history and very aware of the continuity. "It’s a delightful thing.
"But stories are ongoing pieces of fiction. They develop and evolve. My job is to be bold with the storytelling and have fun.”

And it seems Jacks appearence was just a pointless best of Jack hits cameo afterall, meaning the fams contribution to the last episode was less than zero, it was just so Jack had someone to talk to and deliver amessage for a later epiosde! - it would have made more narrative sense for the Doctor to just have dropped them off to do home stuff for a bit and had a solo Doctor story.


“You won't see him (Jack) again this series, I can categorically tell you that.
"But who knows when he might pop up again? We love Captain Jack, we love John Barrowman.
"I hope that won't be his last appearance and that at some point he gets to meet the 13th Doctor." }}

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Post by Amarië on Tue Jan 28, 2020 5:38 pm

Well that is certainly... something. At least there seems to be a plan, which is more than last season had. scratch Shrugging

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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Wed Jan 29, 2020 10:05 am

{{ The only thing Ive got left at this point of information, that doesnt screw up canon doesnt make sense really either- and thats the other Doctor is the next one, they've cast Jodies replacement and its her, and whatever 13 does with this Timeless Child/Gallifrey story-line will either mean she has to regenerate and lose her memories of being 13, or the Time Lords force the wipe on her and 14 will be Ruth Doctor.
But none of that fits with the retro TARDIS look, lack of sonic, and Gallifrey having an Empire and no Time war or Master destruction of it.
So God knows, everything else I can think of at this point would be a retcon of something important. }}

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Post by Mrs Figg on Wed Jan 29, 2020 4:27 pm

I hope the BBC pulls the plug before the next regeneration, I want a bloke who has charisma and can act. But it has to be a bloke. I would love it to be Joe Gilgun.

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Post by Amarië on Wed Jan 29, 2020 4:45 pm

Gender doesn't matter, but it has to be the Doctor. And Ruth is the closest we've had so far.

But I certainly don't mind some Joe Gilgun, nope, not at all. I love you

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Post by Mrs Figg on Wed Jan 29, 2020 5:02 pm

yep Ruth Doctor is certainly an improvement, but I am not excited about watching any more of her to be honest.

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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Wed Jan 29, 2020 5:09 pm


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Post by Mrs Figg on Sun Feb 02, 2020 7:46 pm

oh why oh why do I watch this crap. Rolling Eyes I fall for it every time.
Spoiler:
its plastic? Rolling Eyes  two minutes of listening to a guy moan about his husband? diversity, brought to you by central casting?  Rolling Eyes

Ryan, "its ok"
Diversity Chick, "no its not" (my girlfriend just exploded) duh! Rolling Eyes

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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Feb 02, 2020 8:28 pm

{{ Well if you enjoy a crabbit review there will be one to follow some time! The short review is - "That was fucking awful." No The long review is why, the oh so many why's. Mad }}

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Post by Mrs Figg on Sun Feb 02, 2020 8:49 pm

that was indeed "fucking awful" Suspect and that's 30 minutes I wont get back. :facepalm: why do I do it to myself? its like Chibbers is deliberately taking the urine.

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Post by Amarië on Sun Feb 02, 2020 10:42 pm

Now now, lets be fair, you have to admit today's story was... deep.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Feb 02, 2020 11:06 pm

{{
Spoiler:
One of the generally accepted problems with Chibbers era Who is that three companions is generally at least two too many for the writers to cope with, give fleshed out personalities to, or meaningful interactions between each other or with the Doctor.
This episode begins therefore thinking it's a good idea to introduce us to an astronaut whose capsule is plummeting back out of control towards earth and who ends up somehow crashing in the Indian ocean (we never see how he survives the crash, he just does). Then we get two more characters, a couple of travel vloggers who are apparently famous on the internet for their travel blogging. They get dropped off in Peru next to what is supposed to be a beautiful beach by a river, only to find out its now covered in plastic and crap dumped by evil mankind. So they decide to camp in the middle of it, instead of say walking back the 20 feet to where they got dropped off and there wasn't any rubbish.
Then we get introduced to another bloke, an ex-cop trying to be a store detective and thinks it good practise to rugby tackle would be shoplifters whilst they are still in the shop?
And then we get introduced to two more characters, these two are running a lab on a beach on the Indian ocean studying micro-plastics.
So right off the bat on top of our 4 main characters we have another 6.
But not to worry as one of the vloggers is immediately dispatched by an angry crow and out of nowhere Ryan conveniently turns up, on his own, investigating angry crows. Tries to chat up a girl whose best friend and travel companion of 5 years just vanished from their tent at night. She does react to this as you'd expect, but don't worry, as once they find the girl, who has been taken from the beach having been infected by the bird, and left dead on a slab, her skin goes all rocky and scaly and then she explodes into dust. So down to 7. Alas vlogger other girl we couldn't have cared less about you.
Very shortly after this her friend and 5 year travelling vlohgger companion will apparently have forgotten all about her and by episodes end will be happily smiling as if they just had a fun adventure together instead of just about to go home to tell the world and friends and family of the dead girl that she's dead.
Anyhow, I'm going to short-wire the plot here by just getting to the end and explaining what is going on, as if that's even coherently possible with this script.

Earth is full of plastic, plastic is bad. Aliens from far away found this out too when a virus on their planet interacted with plastic, became deadly and then wiped most of them out. The remaining scientists got in some ships and went to earth because we're also treating our planet like shit and its got lots of plastic. So naturally they infect our planet with the virus so they can study it, and its effect on humans so they can find a cure. They bung the virus into a mass of plastic in the Indian ocean. Birds are eating plastic and getting infected with virus, they then go mad and attack humans, infecting them.
Also the astronaut crashes into the Indian ocean into the virus bit, gets infected and then taken to be experimented on for a cure in Hong Kong, for some reason.
Also whilst there, infected, very sick, strapped to a apparatus, being experimented on by aliens and still stuck in his astronaut suit, he texts his boyfriend, the ex coop in the UK saying exactly where he is. How did he accomplish this?? And why didn't the phone say NASA? Or the police? Or the FBI? Or MI5?
Anyhow the place in Hong Kong has a teleport and so Yaz and Graham are there to investigate it, they get shot at by some aliens, meet the cop boyfriend of astronaut looking for astronaut and who someone how all but instantaneously got to Hong Kong, and after faffing they discover that the teleporter takes them to a place under the Indian Ocean, which the virus somehow built around the crashed scientists ship?
The scientist at the beach lab turns out to be an alien in disguise trying to find the cure and who infected earth and the guy she presumably employed gets killed by a flock of birds but as no one seems to care or bothers to check on him or mentions him again I wont either.
The Doctor makes a cure and tests it on the infected astronaut, aliens steal the cure, but it only works on humans, instead accelerating the infection in them and killing them all.
Cop tries to prove his worth to his astronaut lover by flying the alien ship with the cure into the stratosphere to spread it round the planet, the Doctor rescues him at the last second before the ship explodes, and they wave everyone off like a cheery happy gang, despite all the deaths, vlog girl is making eyes and smiles at Ryan and telling them to come back again having forgotten how her partner was horribly killed in front of her eyes only hours earlier, and the gay couple share a tender kiss. And the Doctor gives a moral warning about the evils of plastic. So all must be happy and good then.

I don't know where to start with this plot.
Its central message plastic and pollution are bad is so clumsily and often driven right into the plot as to be almost a parody of social messaging. Jodie expositions her way through most of the plot like she doesn't know what she is saying and is bored having to say it. Yaz gets the most to do she ever has, but her sudden boldness, courage and willingness to take a huge gamble, such as going through a transporter to an unknown location where the only people you've seen using it have full suits and masks on, is sudden and feels out of character, given she normally does nothing. In fact she has been doing nothing for so long her doing anything proactive feels out of character now.

And that plot. It makes little sense.

The aliens are from a planet that had invented plastic, so much so the problem arose in the first place, they travelled a very long way to find a planet with lots of  plastic. Why? Why couldn't they make plastic to experiment on?They must have known how and once you do its not that hard for a space travelling race who have already got it. And who we are explicitly told are all scientists.
Also if your alien says they came all this way just to find a planet with plastic, don't in the same episode reference the autons, controlled by the nessteene consciousness whose planets are covered, entirely, in plastic and anyone of whose breeding planets would have made a far better choice!!!!

And these same scientists, who infected an entire planet with a different species from themselves on it to find a cure for themselves, then took the cure that worked on humans and used it on themselves, never once considering that there might be a difference in how the two species interacted with the virus?
Why do the aliens take the astronaut to Hong Kong other than to have a single scene set in a Hong Kong alleyway and inside a generic dark warehouse? And when the script doesn't allow enough time to elapse for the cop to get from the UK to Hong Kong? And when the aliens have a specially prepared lab right next to where the astronaut crashed? How does he send a text message whilst captured?
Why did the virus need dispensed from the damaged alien ship that was on the verge of exploding, the TARDIS made the stuff why couldn't the Doctor just pilot the TARDIS to dispense it into the stratosphere in a perfect safe controlled manner?
What's the point  of introducing characters your just going to kill and then have everyone act like they were never there in the first place?
Why does a virus build a massive cavern under an ocean? And how? What for?
Its also cheap looking. The animatronic (I use that term loosely) infected bird on the fence on the beach is laughably bad and must have been obviously so on set, as they only ever shoot it from one restricted angle, and if that's as good as they could get it to look then it must have been bloody awful.
When the cgi flocks of birds attack it suffers from the problem they smash stuff up in the scenery but connect with no one, and you can tell actors are just crouching and waving their arms at nothing, and when the Doctor gets a bat to wave as she does she hits nothing with it. The aliens are just like humans, and when not they are wearing big industrial rubber suits and gas masks as underneath they are supposed to be infected aliens, who are all scaly, so gas masks are a cheap cost saver for all the aliens to wear.
Lots of this ridiculous plot is given in exposition or lecture like speeches, there is no sense of threat or any focus for that threat, the aliens we do get are just stupid scientists doing something stupid and nonsensical for reasons we are given no reason to care about.
Oh and unless I missed it we don't even know how the Doctor and the rest got involved in this story in the first place, they are just all already there at the key points.
This is in a way a microcosm of all that's wrong with Chibbers Who, its large cast allows for several shades of ethnic, its got a positive gay couple, and a strong direct environmental message, and not a character you care about or who is developed or a plot which makes a lick of sense, it's all ignored or bent out of shape to accommodate the rest.
Awful. Tedious, boring, nonsensical and exists purely to make its environmental and social points and nothing else. 1 out of 10 and that's only because the music wasn't jarringly out of place this week.
}}

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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon Feb 03, 2020 10:09 am

{{ Overnights continue their downward trend- that pile of rubbish pretending to be Doctor Who got 3.97 million. }}

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Post by Mrs Figg on Mon Feb 03, 2020 12:46 pm

Spoiler:
The thing that irritates me the most is the glaringly obvious social messaging which touts itself as fresh and rad but has been done 1000x better years ago and a million times. Hell watching Gogglebox and First Dates is more fresh and rad than this rubbish. We have seen two men being married for years and its normal, its not something anyone bats an eyelid about any more. and I somehow think Extinction Rebellion have already passed the message on that plastic is 'bad'. we all know its fucking bad, for crying out loud. This was unmitigated dross and the so called 'acting', particularly from Ryan, was embarrassingly bad. Its not that you cant do social messaging or that saying plastic is bad, but the reason it irritates me is the fact I know why Chibbers is doing it, its for ratings, its not like he is a gay man like RTD, who actually has a damn good reason to explore gender fluidity and sexual identity, or Moffat who can turn the obvious into something mysterious. Chibbers doesn't have the talent or wit to do either, so he takes the easy way out and just hammers the message in the most boring way possible.

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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue Feb 04, 2020 10:03 am

{{ Worked out by someone on Gallfirey Base- speaks volumes though }}

All New Who - Page 5 13th-Doctor-Ratings-Trend

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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:10 pm

{{ AI of 78. Another below 80 making this the worst AI rated series in NuWHo already! }}

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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue Feb 04, 2020 2:29 pm

{{ Who AI's under 80-

Love & Monster (RTD) - 76
Orphan 55 (Chibnal) - 77
Sleep No More (Moffat) - 78
Praxeus (Chibnal) - 78
The Tsuranga Conundrum (Chibnal) - 79
The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos (Chibnal) - 79
Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror (Chibnal) - 79

And Moffat and RTD did five series each (well RTD four plus specials) with only 1 epiosde each falling below 80. Chibnal has had one and a half series so far and got 5 already! }}

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All New Who - Page 5 Empty Re: All New Who

Post by Mrs Figg on Tue Feb 04, 2020 3:45 pm

I don't class Chibnal's episodes as Doctor Who, because its not really Doctor Who. Its a pale and stale echo. No

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Post by Amarië on Tue Feb 04, 2020 4:19 pm

I was wondering where Ruth went. Not a mention, not nothing. Then I tried to remember what happened to her, but I still don't recall. It's so so boring that the story doesn't stick.

I think she's in a sixties style diner on an asteroid, hanging out with Jenny, Clara, Bill and that star eyed chick. Oh, and Me ( who's real name I can't remember now.)
Like... Friends in Space. With aliens.

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Post by halfwise on Tue Feb 04, 2020 5:02 pm

I wanna go to a diner on an asteroid! bounce

But despite the romance I'm sure the food would be lousy. All pre-packaged microwave stuff. Like bus stop diners.

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Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue Feb 04, 2020 7:24 pm

{{ Chibbers- in the writing room week 2!


Spoiler:
Chibbers: Right Pass me the top hat. (reaches into hat) This weeks moral is going to be – the environment.

Writer 1: Didn't we just do that In Orphan 55?

Chibbers: Ah, but that was preaching about the dangers of global warming and war, this is preaching about the dangers of plastic. Completely different. So we will have an alien race that had a plastic problem, and a virus developed on the plastic that killed them all, and now their last scientists have travelled across the galaxy to find a planet just as badly polluted with plastic as their own to experiment on for a cure.

Writer 2: But if they are after planets with lots of plastic why didn't they go to one of the Nesteene Consciousness breeding planets? They are covered in the stuff. And as its sentient plastic there could be a really interesting sci-fi premise there especially if the virus also has sentient properties and the Doctor could get caught in a moral dilemma as the Nesteene is bad but its also a sentient life under attack...what?.. why you staring at me?

Chibbers: You are muddying the message by having ideas. What have I told you about ideas?


Writers (together): 'Ideas kill the message and confuse viewers.'

Chibbers: Exactly. We don't want the audience thinking for themselves, we want them thinking what we tell them to think about. The message is all!

Writer 3: What was the message again?

Chibbers: Plastic is bad!

Writer1: OK. So what are these aliens like? Made of plastic? Some sort of humanoid plastic hybrid, something sci-fi and interesting?

Chibbers: No we've no money left we spent it all globe-trotting and creating a massive carbon footprint to film the series, so they look exactly like humans, except when they get infected then they go all scaly, but we cant afford to show that either, so props found these in a disused toilet (holds up some old gas masks and rubber industrial suits) we'll just put them in these, thanks to Moffat gas masks are automatically scary now in Who.

Writer 2: Yes, but that was because of setting, atmosphere, build up and character development combined with sharp careful writing... what?

Chibbers: Gas masks are scary, plastic is bad.

Writer 2: Sorry.

Chibbers: So aliens who look like humans, or are wearing masks for budget reasons, travel to earth to find plastic and conduct experiments, and no one mention the Nesteene again!

Writer 1: Didn't you say they were scientists?

Chibbers: Yup all that's left of their race.

Writer 1: Um, if they come from a planet with plastic, and they know all about plastic, why cant they just make some plastic to experiment on? Why would they infect the earth? Or need a whole planet, let alone one with sentient advanced life on it, to conduct a simple set of experiments? Couldn't they do this in a lab? Or a small moon or something?

Chibbers: Because if they infect Earth then there is a threat duh!

Writer 1: Yes, but that doesn't make...

Chibbers: What's Rule One? Everybody!

Writers (together): 'We don't need to think things through if we keep the episode moving so fast and Jodie talking techno-babble so quickly and breathlessly that the audience doesn't have time to think about it either.'

Chibbers: Exactly. And we can all knock off early to the wine bar and spend a family's weekly budget on expensive imported wine whilst congratulating ourselves on how we are educating the unwashed masses by pointing out to them how racist, sexist, bigoted and generally all round awful they are. They will thank us for it in the ratings, you wait and see.

Writer 2: OK so we have an alien threat, a virus that infects plastic and makes it deadly, and the Doctor and fam turn up and solve the mystery.? Doesn't seem much to it.

Chibbers: Ah well, you know how people say we have too many companions already? Well were going to introduce five more characters in this one.

Writer 3: In a 45 minute episode?

Chibbers: Rule One!

Writer: Ah. Of course.

Chibbers: So we open on an astronaut crashing to earth.

Writer 1: What happened to him?

Chibbers: Doesn't matter, alien signal interfering or something, point is he's crashing. Its exciting. He crashes into the Indian Ocean, Ive always fancied going there much better than Wales in winter, and gets infected by the plastic virus, but the aliens take him away to experiment on him. Then we cut to London, and an ex-cop, probably, he might be pretending to be, we will make that unnecessarily ambiguous so people think its cleverer than it is. And he gets a text message from the crashed astronaut to come find him, and the location of his mobile phone.
Then we will have two females from two different ethnic backgrounds, so that's two more checkboxes ticked for this week, and they are going to camp on a beautiful beach, somewhere foreign sounding and exotic we can go film and have a cheap holiday? Peru! That'll do. So the beach however is covered in plastic and rubbish. Like a complete rubbish tip has materialised there.

Writer 1: So what do they do?

Chibbers: They camp in the middle of it.

Writer 2: What instead of walking back the hundred yards of so to where there is no rubbish?

Chibbers: Yes.

Writer 1: Why?

Chibbers: So one of them can wander out into the rubbish at night and get killed by a flock of mutant crows.

Writer 3: Sorry what?

Chibbers: This is the genius bit, the plastic is infected with a virus, the crows eat the plastic – we can have Jodie exposition some stats from wiki about birds eating plastic to explain it - and the virus infects the crows and turns them into killing machines.

Writer 1: Ok, that could be quite good, what happens next?

Chibbers: They die and drop out the sky.

Writer 1: Oh.

Chibbers: Which is when Ryan turns up investigating the birds.

Writer 2: On his own?

Chibbers: Yes, why?

Writer 1: Well with the personality and brains we've given him so far I'd not trust him to go down the shops for a packet of prawn cocktail crisps and come back with the right flavour.

Chibbers: Look, whose in charge here? So then we cut to Hong Kong and the ex-cop is there looking for the astronaut.

Writer 1: Hold on. Hong Kong?

Chibbers: Yeah its exotic, and the BBC just sold the show to China last year so were having a scene in Hong Kong.

Writer 2: But if we just saw the cop in London how did he get to Hong Kong, is this like several days later?

Chibbers: No, in a moment we will cut back to Ryan and vlogger girl on the rubbish beach having the same conversation.

Writer 3: So the cop got to Hong Kong, instantaneously?

Chibbers: Pretty much. Remember Rule One!

Writers 1: Right. Right.

Chibbers: And in Hong Kong Yaz and Graham will be looking for a power source in the same place, from the aliens.

Writer 2: That's a good idea, we can finally give Yaz and Graham some proper dialogue together, you know, take the chance to explore their relationship and how they feel about travelling together and all they've been through, what they really feel about the Doctor, and maybe some of their worries or suspicions about how she has been behaving lately...you're staring again.

Chibbers: They immediately meet up with the cop without talking to each other.

Writer 3: Ah.

Chibbers: And they go in together with the cop, find the astronaut, strapped up to a medical table thing and still in his astronaut suit and they get shot at by some gas masked aliens and escape.

Writer 3: Wait, the astronaut is tied up to a table and still wearing his suit?

Chibbers: Yeah otherwise how will people know he's an astronaut? Remember, the audience is stupid. Either keep it simple, exposition it over and over, labour the point, or just have Jodie directly tell the audience at the end of the episode what it was about.

Writer 1: It's just earlier you said the astronaut texted the cop? He had his mobile phone fully charged and in his astronaut suit and within reach to use it and was able to text? And he didn't phone the police? Or NASA or someone?

Chibbers: What did I tell you about thinking about things? Stop it! So Yaz tells the Doctor she is going to stay behind and get the source of the power as it seems important. This way we can show her police skills. And as she wont get the mcguffin she is after, and they don't need it for anything anyway so it doesn't matter the reason. Point is she will do something. Oh and she can team up with the vlogger girl Ryan found after her friend exploded.

Writer 3: Her friend explodes?

Chibbers: Yeah. The virus covers you in scaly stuff then you explode into dust and disintegrate, painfully.

Writer 3: And her best friend witnesses this? Wouldn't that traumatise her a bit, or at least make her angry, vengeful against the aliens, or otherwise perturbed?

Chibbers: Oh no, she'll have forgotten all about her in a few minutes and she'll never be mentioned again. So they all go off to the Indian Ocean except Yaz who decides to follow one of the gas masks types through a transporter to wherever they are going with vlogger girl.

Writer 2: Yaz does that? Won't that seem out of character, Yaz doing something? Let alone something so stupidly dangerous and obviously reckless such as going through a teleporter to an unknown locating, when the only people you've seen using it appear to be wearing hazard suits and gas masks? That's more someone with a death wish. Wouldn't at least vblogger girl mention some concerns about that like a normal human being?

Chibbers: No, Rule One. So they jump into the transporter and they think they are on an Alien planet or a ship.

Writer 3: But its not?

Chibbers: Nope, you wont believe what its.

Writer 1: I bet we wont.

Chibbers; Its made of plastic, and its a massive cavern surrounding the alien scientists crashed ship, did I mention they crashed? Underneath the Indian Ocean. And the virus built it.

Writer 3: I was about to ask how a virus could do that but, Rule One?

Chibbers: Exactly Rule One! So the Doctor is trying to create a cure for the astronaut at a lab on a beach by the Indian Ocean, run by a chinese girl, as that is another box ticked, and another black guy, just put a tick there, and she is really one of the aliens in disguise- only she doesn't have to be as they look exactly like humans.

Writer 1: Are you sure we don't have too many characters here?

Chibnall: Its ok as the black guy we introduced, he will be left outside to watch the flocks of evil birds.

Writer 3: Oh I can make a really cool crow out of an old sock, some wire piping and those stick on googly eyes you get.

Chibnall: Sounds mutated crow to me, that'll do, save us some money. And no one will notice because of Rule One you see.
So the Doctor thinks she might have a cure, not chinese woman nicks it and vanishes, the crows attack and kill the guy on the beach, so we the audience and everyone else can just forget about him from now on, never mention him again or check to see what happened to him, as we all know the last thing the audience wants is to have to do is think about things, which is why we keep it always moving. Rule One. So then the crows attack the lab. And the Doctor, fam, cop and astronaut all have to flee along the beach to the TARDIS.

Writer 1: Why isn't the TARDIS parked next to the lab?

Chibnall: Because if it was they couldn't get chased by the crows along the beach now could they?

Writer 3: And wouldn't a flock of demented attacking birds move a lot faster than people on foot?Especially with an ill astronaut in a bulky space suit?

Chibbers: Your thinking again! So they make it onto the TARDIS but the cop has stayed behind to pilot the alien ship back into the stratosphere to dispense the cure round the planet.

Writer 1: Why does he do that?

Chibbers: Because they are estranged brothers and he needs to prove himself to his older more successful brother.

Writer 2: Oh OK.

Chibbers: No wait! Chibbers you fool! Where's that diversity list gone? If we make them lovers, and married then not only can we have environmentalism we can shock everyone with a married gay couple.

Writer 1: What married gay couples which are so common place and which no one could care less about that they've been accepted law and perfectly legal and a societal norm for years now and featured in almost every soap and drama made in last five years at least? Those shocking gay relationships?

Chibbers: Exactly! Its Progressive! And it means in this one episode Ive ticked five ethnic boxes and one for diversity. Not even including the Doctor and the Fam. Its a winner!

Writer 2: Ok, so the cop sacrifices himself to dispense the cure?

Chibbers: Well that was the plan, but not now he's gay! He has to be saved by the Doctor at the last second now so we can have an on-screen gay snog. I'm not wasting that! Really show them!

Writer 3: Yes, shocking....

Writer1 : Why cant the Doctor dispense the cure using the TARDIS? It could makes the cure, and she could easily fly into the stratosphere, and we saw 10 use her to alter the atmosphere just to make it snow.

Chibbers: Because if the Doctor did it there wouldn't be an exciting finale where someone is going to blow up to save everyone else would there?

Writer 1: But your going to save him anyway. And I don't see how if we can go save him now we couldn't save the mother and daughter team on Orphan 55, and I still don't understand how the Doctor was allowed to cross her own timeline to save the companions from the plane in Spyfall?

Chibbers: Stop thinking about things!!

Writer 3: Hold on, what happened to the aliens? You know the ones who started all this plastic virus thing?

Chibbers: Oh they stole the cure, use it on themselves and it instantly kills them all instead as it only works on humans.

Writer 2: But I thought they were all scientists? Wouldn't it have occurred to them that the virus might not react the same way on an entirely different species on a different planet in a different bit of the galaxy? And maybe tested it on someone first to see if it works rather than all of them just injecting themselves willy-nilly with it? And what about their home planet? Did the Doctor go there to cure anyone left? Does she even care or have the slightest curiosity about it?

Chibbers: Right the next person who starts thinking in this room is getting fired. I explained this already, the aliens look human so they think it will work the same. End of argument. Its perfect, its got ethnics, gays, an environmental message about evil plastic and cheap aliens and we get to shoot most of it abroad somewhere sunny and warm. What more do you want?

Writer 1: Um, what about Jodie? I mean Ryan has his thing, Yaz and Graham have there's and all the other characters we've got in here have their stuff to do, or are instantly killed off, but what about the Doctor? All she seems to do is go to a beach, get the TARDIS to come up with a cure for her, and well, that's it really. Is that enough for the lead character to do?

Chibbers; Oh, not to worry. We'll just copy and paste some stuff about the dangers of micro-plastics from wiki and the Green Peace sites and disperse it throughout the episode masquerading as the Doctors dialogue. If she just delivers the rest like she's just finished running a marathon in record time it'll be fine. There's no one can exposition a moral lecture at the audience like Jodie can! Her heart is really in it.

Writer 1: Hearts you mean.

Chibbers: What?

Writer 1: It was a joke, because she is the Doctor and has two hearts.

Chibbers: Ah, didn't I tell you I was thinking of retconning that so that only male Time Lords have two hearts and females are denied it as its part of Time Lord male privilege.

Writer 1: But wouldn't that contradict Missy in Dark....oh never mind. }}

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Post by Amarië on Tue Feb 04, 2020 9:35 pm

That. Should be made into a sketch or something. I was giggling my way through it, then at the end I remembered something 13 said and I cringed.
That last part...:
reminded me that 13 said something that indicated that she has two brains. And Graham said "did she say 'brains'?) So she probably has two brains so she can extra specialler than others.  


Last edited by Amarië on Tue Feb 04, 2020 9:37 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post by halfwise on Tue Feb 04, 2020 9:36 pm

Laughing

Shouldn't you post this in some Who fan site so the right people might see it?

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