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Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 09, 2011 2:42 am

People (and Hobbits) of Forumshire-

Many of you will recall my shameless promotion of my book, The Wobbit (A Parody) from back in the days of Ye Olde Forumshire. Nothing much has changed, and I'm still as shameless as ever, so I'd like to attempt to reach a new low. I invite you to help me.

Perhaps you enjoyed my recurring excerpts from The Wobbit in the past. Maybe you'd like to find out what finally happened to Bulbo Bunkins, Pantsoff, Borin Oakmanfield and his Board Of Directors from SmithiBank, The Bank For Smithies. Well now's your chance to get the entire, mostly proofread ebook FOR FREE! (Normally $3.00 on Amazon US, £2.13 on Amazon UK.) This is a limited time offer, only available to Forumshire members.

Follow these five simple steps and you'll soon be enjoying the only Hobbit parody written by a former comedian:

1) Send Me Your Email Address
Send me a Private Message requesting a copy of The Wobbit and INCLUDE AN EMAIL ADDRESS where Amazon will send you a copy. I will order you a gift copy within 24 hours of your Private Message.
2) Download The free Kindle App
Go to http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_ipad_mkt_lnd?docId=1000493771 to request a FREE KINDLE APP for your iPhone, PC, Mac, BlackBerry, iPad, Android, or microwave oven.
3) Post A Review
Go to any Tolkien-related site (not this one, the other ones that aren't as fun as Forumshire) and post a review, preferably positive. If possible, tell everyone where you posted as a reply to this post.
4) Give Me Five Stars, Please
If you have an Amazon account, post your review there, too, and give the book five stars and a thumbs up (assuming you can do so in good conscience). This would be especially good for those of you that have UK Amazon accounts, since I have no reviews there at all, not even from family members.
5) Read The Book
If you haven't done so already, read and enjoy The Wobbit!

All of you are skilled reviewers, so I know you can make my book seem far funnier and more insightful than it actually is. And most of you understand the Tolkien internet community better than me, so you'll be able to post those reviews in ways I couldn't imagine. Finally, you are influential in those communities, perhaps influential enough to get my book beyond sales to friends and family.

Most importantly, I would enjoy sharing my book with you, because you've been a great source of encouragement and I want to thank you all in some small way.

Thanks!

-Paul
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sat Jul 09, 2011 12:55 pm

"the only Hobbit parody written by a former comedian"

Um if you are writing parody should that not be written by a comedian?! It sounds like you gave up being funny to write a parody! Sure thats not what you meant!

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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:38 pm

As always, you make an excellent point, PT.

What I meant to say was that I used to perform song parodies in comedy clubs way back in the late 1980's. The only other published parody of The Hobbit was written by the respected SF/Fantasy author Adam Roberts. He explores (spoiler alert) the life cycle of dragons, including metamorphoses from dwarf to wizard to dragon. As a parody, though, I believe that my book compares very well to his.

And it's funny!
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:41 pm

Don't suppose you have any of those songs recorded? You could bung them on youtube and then put them on here. In fact as well as the Elven Disco I have mangaed to secure Orwell's band for the Picnic- you could be on the bill! Mmmm that gives me an idea.

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Compiled and annotated by Eldorion.


- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 09, 2011 2:06 pm

There are no useable recordings of the songs from The Wobbit, but plenty from my days as a comedian. Many of them are a bit dated: songs about Jim and Tammy Faye Baker, yuppies, Raisa Gorbachev, the 1986 Chicago Bears, Dan Quayle, Geraldo Rivera, the Friday The 13th movies. Eighties stuff. But there are some timeless classics, too, about White Castle Hamburgers, accountants, and Jean-Paul Sartre. I would be happy to share them!

Is there a date for the 2011 picnic? From the thread, it sounds like fun.
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sat Jul 09, 2011 2:39 pm

This years commences with the concert on the 28th August. cheers drunken To see how to be a part of the concert and contribute a song or two go to the Forumshire Has Talent thread in Ideas and Suggestions.

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Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldorion.


- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 09, 2011 9:08 pm

Will do! Sounds like fun. None have those songs have been performed since 1991. It'll be fun to see what people think 20 years later. Thanks for the invitation.

So like I was saying, who wants a free eBook?
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Guy Incognito on Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:27 pm

I can get a free book? Just by writing a book review and posting it on another Tolkien-related site? Are you kidding me?

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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Wisey Banks on Sat Jul 16, 2011 12:55 am

Hmm? Guy Incognito (from South Toledo?)
(Your picture, I must say, is kind of neato);
So it's more shameless self promotion, I trust?
Aha! It seems, at last, you're one of us!


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Channelled directly from their souls.

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One of us indeed

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:10 am

Hey! I just created my first sock puppet AND got my first Banks poem IN THE SAME DAY! Thanks, "Wisey," I'm happy to be part of the group.

And now, if I may, I must return to my self-promotion (shameless, that is).

-Paul
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I would NEVER kid

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:17 am

Guy Incognito wrote:I can get a free book? Just by writing a book review and posting it on another Tolkien-related site? Are you kidding me?

No, Guy, I'm not kidding. All you have to do is tell me that you intend to write review and the eBook is yours. Just get me your email address.

-Paul
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Orwell on Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:21 pm

Shamelessness of Orwellian and Tyrantean proportions! Very Happy

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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Guy Incognito on Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:42 am

Shrugging Paul, I don't know about the whole "Private Message me your email address" thing. How do I know you're not some sort of @#$%&!ing cyber-stalker? I don't want my inbox stuffed with your *&^%$#@ing junk mail. Evil or Very Mad

-Guy

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Really? A Cyber-Stalker?

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:49 am

Come ON, Guy!

Do I sound like a stalker? I'm a respected (sort of) member of this community! I've got a wife and two kids! I SWEAR I'm not going to send anything to your email address except a free eBook. In fact, it won't come from me, it'll be from Amazon.com!

If you don't believe me (who can blame you), just ask Gandalf's Beard. I emailed him a PDF copy of the The Wobbit ages ago, and I haven't stalked him. Not even a little.

So please, Guy, be reassured that I will NOT abuse the trust you show in me by giving me your email address.

And by the way, take it easy on the swearing, dude.

Free eBook!

-Paul
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Ringdrotten on Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:01 am

I'm afraid I won't have time to read it and write a review as I'll be pretty busy when school starts. And I don't own a kindle either. But thanks for the offer, Paul, it's very generous Smile

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What a thoughtful response!

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:07 am

Thanks, Ringdrotten!

Even if you DON'T write a review, I'd be happy to send you a free copy. Just let me know. But don't neglect your schooling!

-Paul
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Guy Incognito on Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:12 am

Paul, you son of a %$#@!

You said I had to write a review to get your ^$%#%@& free book! Now you tell Ringdrotten that HE doesn't have to? Not fair! Is that because of your Norwegian heritage, Paul? All Norsemen get a free book, no questions asked? No

You're on dangerous ground, my friend!

-Guy

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Calm down, dude!

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:18 am

Jeez, Guy!

Write a review. DON'T write a review. Whatever. If you want a book, let me know. Just stop swearing at me.

If you want, give it a thumbs up on Amazon and five stars. If you don't a have an Amazon account, don't worry about it. If you'd enjoy the book, I'll gladly get it to you.

And please don't drag Ringdrotten into this.

-Paul
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Guy Incognito on Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:20 am

Yeah, but I don't have a &^%%$#ing Kindle! What about that, you ^%$^%$#ing pig!?!? pig

-Guy

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Namecalling? Really?

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:24 am

Guy-

I'm not sure by your tone that you're really interested in my book.

But on the off-chance that you ARE, let me assure you that you can download the Kindle app for free onto the computer you're using now, and read my book just as you're reading right now.

-Paul
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Ringdrotten on Sat Jul 23, 2011 1:42 am

Well then, I'll send you my email address and read it when I finish my current book and get some spare time! Very Happy I'll give it a five star rating of course, and try to write a short review at least Smile Cheers, Paul!

By the way, I thought you were of Swedish descent (because of your name)? You got some Norwegian blood too?

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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Mon Jul 25, 2011 4:13 am

Ringdrotten-

I think i'm mostly Norwegian. My great-grandparents were grocers and cabinetmakers from Stavanger, I think.

Sometimes people tell me that "Erickson" uses a Swedish spelling, but my Dad always said the spelling was based on whatever the Irishman at Ellis Island wanted while filling out the naturalization papers when my great-grandparents arrived in the States.

It would be fun to make the trip back to Norway. It looks beautiful. Too bad about all the rabid trolls, though.

-Paul
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon Jul 25, 2011 4:15 am

Ah what the hell, you were nice enough to read my stuff despite it not naturally being your thing Wobbit. Least I can do to return the courtesy (and I will write a review if I enjoy it, I'll just not bother if I don't!)

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A Green And Pleasant Land

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- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
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Hooray!

Post by The Wobbit A Parody on Mon Jul 25, 2011 4:31 am

PT-

As one would expect, your offer to provide either a positive review or none at all is MORE than fair.

Now that two influential Tolkien fans are on board, I know this thing is going to be a monster hit.

Thanks!

-Paul
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Re: Get a free eBook! Just post a review!

Post by Wisey Banks on Mon Jul 25, 2011 4:32 am

The Wobbit A Parody wrote:Ringdrotten-

I think i'm mostly Norwegian. My great-grandparents were grocers and cabinetmakers from Stavanger, I think.

Sometimes people tell me that "Erickson" uses a Swedish spelling, but my Dad always said the spelling was based on whatever the Irishman at Ellis Island wanted while filling out the naturalization papers when my great-grandparents arrived in the States.

It would be fun to make the trip back to Norway. It looks beautiful. Too bad about all the rabid trolls, though.

-Paul

Oh Stavanger, we remember, we who dwell,
In America far across the swell,
The sunlight on your nobbly hills,
And the dog-sledging was a thrill,
Oh we remember, we who dwell,
South of heaven, North of hell!


An Old Scandavian Edda (apparently)

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