Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Wed Jul 11, 2012 9:47 pm

You mean Lydia had the right plan all along?! :facepalm:

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Ally on Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:03 am

Well she is a women Very Happy

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:08 am

Yes, a servant woman! Canthiss' servant. She is supposed to do what she is bloody well told, not show up poor Canthiss by having bright ideas. Mad Thinking is for men in Skyrim- apart from Lydia the rest of the women either run a shop or stand about towns moaning about their husbands-which is right and proper.
(Well all right I admit Lydia is handy in a fight- it gives the bad guys someone else to hit other than me!)

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Ally on Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:27 am

What about Angi near Falksreach- killed two men who killed her family she did!

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:36 am

Exactly! Typical emotional reaction from a female!

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Sat Jul 14, 2012 1:09 am

...the continuing tales of Canthiss and Lydia.


AAArrrggggggghhh!!!!! -OOOFF-


Shocked WTF! Shocked alien affraid


Ummm.


affraid Lydia!!!! affraid


No silent


affraid affraid affraid


scratch


Lydia- "Oooh, you lucky bastard."

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Ally on Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:34 pm

Morrowind is just so much better than Skyrim...and what wonderful music Wink


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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Ally on Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:36 pm

Still, you have a knack for producing great lps Very Happy

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Mrs Figg on Tue Jul 17, 2012 11:09 pm

poor Lydia, now she has Monty Python aliens to deal with. Rolling Eyes
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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Tue Jul 24, 2012 2:53 am

-Intermission-

Postcards from Skyrimm

These are big pictures as they make excellent desktops- but reducing them in size looses a lot of quality- so here they are in their full glory. (Might take a while to load them depending on your connection speed)





























And finally a panaroma view I got by sticking 3 shots together.



Mmmm- those arent as big as I had expected! (or should be) Wonder if either photobucket or the forum shrinks pics over a certain size. scratch

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Norc on Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:43 am

oooh, northern lights Very Happy
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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Wed Aug 01, 2012 3:51 am

The Continuing adventures of Canthiss and Lydia
Part One



"We're nearly at the city of Masquith Lydia. They say it has some of the most beautiful architecture in Skyrim you know. What do you mean you know already? Your aunt lives there? Well good for your bloody aunt!" Mad "Hey can you hear music?"


"Are you seeing what I'm seeing Lydia? And just to check. What I'm seeing is a cyclops dancing with a harpy."


"Oh bugger they've spotted us. Here we go again!"


Sorry what did you say? Would we like to dance?" Shocked


"Lydia! affraid I think this one is yours"


Well ignoring the wings, fangs and blood stained talons Ive woken up next to worse. Nod


(A night of dancing later)


"My feet are killing me. Who would have thought a cyclops would have known the Twist?
What are you grumbling about now Lydia? You want time off to go visit your aunt in Masquith? Fine, but I'm deducting it from your wages. I know I dont pay your wages but Im still deducting it from them!"


"Right there's Masquith. Now where this aunts house of yours Lydia that I've to meet you at later? Dwimmer Lane, past the bridge, next to the waterfall. Yeah course I've got it."


"Ok. Few hours in the local inn. Get a couple of jars in. drunken Listen to a buxom bard. Try to [ick up a job worthy of my name. Go meet Lydia. Its nice to get a break from adventuring and being a hero and the Dragonborn and just get back to being an all round great guy." Nod

(Several hours of drinking later)


Right. (hic) drunken Now to find Lydia. Where was it again? scratch Oh yeah! She said Dwimmer Lane. Dwimmer Lane? Hey, these streets dont have any street names on them! Mad Ok, what else did she say. Oh yeay! drunken Next to the waterfall. Can't be many of them in a city. drunken Hey theres one! cheers


And another! cheers


Bloody hell!


Come off it!! Evil or Very Mad


Banghead


Suspect


Oh thank the Gods for a guard house!! cheers "Excuse me could you direct me to Dwimmer Lane? drunken drunken What? Well yes I have been drinking, a bit. drunken What do you mean a curfew? Suspect Look. I am trying to get to a house, I just cant find the bloody thing. Give us a break I'm new in town. Yes I promise this will be the last you see of me. Thankyou officer. Now, Dwimmer Lane.
Down the stairs, through the tunnel, up the street and its on the left, can't miss it. Got it. drunken "


Down the stairs, check. drunken


Through the tunnel, check. drunken Think Ill just stop for a quick refesher of ale. drunken drunken Right. Time to go. Is it right next? drunken


Up the street and turn right. Ok. Check.
{Coo}


Ah bollocks! Mad






Last edited by Pettytyrant101 on Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:12 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Wed Aug 01, 2012 5:24 am

Part Two

{After a night in the cells}

"Yes thankyou lydia for paying my fine. But what took you so long? Mad No I did not get lost. Mad No, it will not be going in the ballads either! Evil or Very Mad Now be quite woman. Whilst you were gossiping with your aunty I heard tell of a legend. A cursed King of the ancient days. Beneath this very city. And there's more, I know where the entrance is. So come on.


They say beneath here there is a labyrinth, and at its heart sits the cursed king and a secret lost artifact of the Dwimmer, the lost dwarven craftsmen of Legend. There will be many dangers on the way, monsters to fight, perils to dare. Thats the sort of thing you should be singing about me Lydia. Nod Brave. Nod Bold. Nod Daring. Nod Dashing. Nod Tweaking the nose of death, and, erm, tickling the balls of death...you know what I mean. Hero stuff! Because thats me! Nod And here we are. The entrance is down below this waterfall.


"This is the stuff Lydia. Dark caves. Fearful sounds in the dark. This is the sort of thing only legend sdo. What? You don't count Lydia, you're just the Housecarl there can only be one hero and its clearly me."


"What is that you keep reading? Every time we stop, even for a moment you've got your nose in that bloody book. Give it here! '50 Shades of Grey"? Suspect I'm adding up every minute I see you reading and docking it from your wages! Mad This isnt a hobbit walking party you know! Evil or Very Mad Hey! Did you hear a soft, nasty sort of moan there? I thnk the monster might have found us."
{Much fighting of monsters such as this-

-and this-

later and getting lost in a labyrinth}


"I made it through Lydia! A horde fof monsters. A labyrinth of traps. The stuff of ballads now eh? Nod Go me! Cheerleader And look its our cursed King!"


"Ok dead dude. Whats the problem and how do we solve it? I beg your pardon? Your remains have been left on your throne in an undignified position? scratch You dont like the way your legs are splayed apart its embarrising? Thats your curse?! Mad Lydia! Extremely Crabbit Stop that giggling right now! Wait! He says there's more."


"They put your body right beneath an old lighting shaft and kids in Masquith pee down onto you! Thats the curse I've fought my way through monsters and a labyrinth of traps to lift? Bad posture and being pissed on! Banghead I swear to the Gods Lydia if you dont stop laughing I am going to brain you." Mad


Fine anything for the reward. What do I have to do? Push your legs together and move the chair two feet to the left. Fine. I'll do it.


Hey! Hold on. What about my reward? What do you mean I'll know soon. I want to know now!


Ok. Done it. Hey! Where he go. Where's my reward. And whats that weird humming noise? You hear that Lydia? Sound slike its coming from the next room. Hey look at this crummy statue. What's that supposed to be? Laughing


Mmm. Seems to be coming from this throne. Suspect Weird, there's sort of metal tentacles or something and a glowing sphere thing. And hey a button to press!What? Oh come one whats the worst can happen? This must be the reward. I'm going to press the button. Nod

See nothing happened!

'Whoooooouummmmmpphh! Wheeeeeeoooomph! EEeiiiiiiiiwwoooooooowwwhh! Weeeeoooooooowwww!'

"Ummmmm? scratch What the hell is that behind you Lydia!"


to be continued......









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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Thu Aug 02, 2012 5:08 am

Part 3


Doctor- Hello! I'm the Doctor.
Canthiss- Its a demon in a magic box. affraid You zap it Lydia and I'll whack him! Twisted Evil


Lydia- I don’t think he is a demon. A demon would never wear a tie like that. Very Happy
Doctor-Hey! Don't dis the bow-tie! Bow-ties are cool.


Doctor-Look I'm not a Demon and that is not a magic box, well it is sort of , but its not really.
Lydia-Its a device of some sort. An unmagical device.
Canthiss-Oh be quite Lydia. Mad You don’t know what your talking about. Mad Its clearly magical and he is clearly a demon. Let's just whack him. Nod



Doctor- You, hush. Listening now. Go on. Why do you think my box is a device? And why do my clothes keep changing?


Lydia-The legend said there was a Dwemmer device in here and the Dwimmer it is said made artefacts of great power yet not of magic. And I dont know why your clothes keep changing.
Doctor-Oooh artefacts. I love an artefact me. Now who are the Dwimmer and where might we find this artefact? Sorry what was your name again?


Canthiss-Canthiss. Dragon Born Saviour of...


Doctor- Shhh, again. I wasn't talking to you.
Canthiss- Extremely Crabbit


Lydia- My name is Lydia. I am Housecarl to the Dragonborn.
Doctor-Right then Lydia, Housecarl to the Dragonborn. Is there any of this Dwemmer stuff in here? Something I can use to get a scan of?


Canthiss-Hey you are not paid to work for him? Mad


Doctor-Still shhhh!


Lydia-There's the throne. There is some sort of Dwemmer device built into it. Canthiss pressed something before your, box appeared.
Perhaps it summoned your device here.
Canthiss-Hey! That is my reward! Mad
Doctor-Oh I like you.


Canthiss-Of course. Nod As I have been trying to tell you, I am Canthiss. Dragonborn. Nod Destiny sits upon my shoulders. Nod Courage is my....


Doctor-Still talking to Lydia.
Canthiss- Extremely Crabbit


Doctor-Right then what have we here? Oh a sparkly globular thing, I love a sparkly globular thing. Lets see what happens when I do this? Aha. Just I thought. Magic and technology.


Doctor- Ooo, hold on! I know where I am. Skyrim. I'm in Skyrim. All that magic- no wonder my clothes keep altering.
The Ancient Realm of Cyrdonia on the planet of Dragons and the Elder Kings. Of course. Woo. This place is the stuff of legends. And I should know.


Canthiss- I'm one of those legends I'll have you know. Nod Canthiss the Dragonborn, saviour of the age. Nod If you'd listen. Mad


Doctor-Not done shooshing you yet. Shh!
This is really early. I mean, really. Of course eventually the First Great and Terrible Gallifrean empire will reach out this far and your entire civilisation will be consumed in war and ravaged by the superior magic and psychic powers of the sisterhood of Pyrthia, and you lot will become just another slave planet of the Empire. Those of you that aren't captured and put in the Death Zones that is. Doomed to certain death....um did I say certain death? I meant uncertain death..But never mind all that eh?- plenty of time before then... I hope. We need to find that artefact?


Canthiss- Would somebody pay attention to me! I am the hero of this saga you know! Mad And that artefact is mine!
Lydia-Why do you need it Doctor?


Doctor-Because whatever it is, its got my TARDIS trapped in that barrier and I can't leave without it.


To be continued......



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The Doctor and the Dragonborn Part 3

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon Oct 15, 2012 2:18 am


Lydia- So are we going to help this Doctor or not? I like him. He's cute. I love you

Canthiss- Cute? He looks like a child! Mad



Canthiss-By the way, what the hell have you got on your head girl? Suspect Thats to impress him isnt it? You look like you're wearing a shiny tit. Take it off NOW! Mad I'm the Dragonborn and we'll have some decorum here! This ain't a fancy dress party you know. Mad



Canthiss- Thats better- simple sack hood for you my girl. And dont frown.



Lydia- You can talk! What's with the gimp mask?

Canthiss- It is NOT a gimp mask! Mad How do you even know what a gimp mask is? No, dont answer that.
This is my Mask of Terror- you have to say it like that- in a boomy voice, good isn't it?

Lydia- You're a complete pillock you do know that don't you?

Canthiss- Just shut up and follow me, you know the Dragonborn here, the Hero- lets go find this Dwimmer device thing for your new boyfriend.



Canthiss- Hey I think this might be it. Down there. Come on. Adventure awaits.



Canthiss- This looks like the thing- Dwimmerish isn't it? scratch

Lydia- There are dead people all round it- I have a bad feeling about this.

Canthiss- Oh you always worry, being but a weak and feeble Housecarl- but I am Dragonborn! Fearless, see, its in the job description.

Lydia- Yeah, right next to only idiots need apply.

Canthiss- What was that? Suspect

Lydia- Oh nothing. What does that thing do?



Canthiss- Well, its a, um, its a thingy, a whatchimicallit, a thingmibob

Lydia- You don't know. Do you?

Canthiss- Well smarty pants you tell me what it is? Mmm? Not so quick now are we?
Besides I dont need to know, I just need to do what that Doctor fellow asked dont I?
See, simple, done. Well that was easy enough, hardly the stuff of heroes though.



Canthiss- Um, Lydia, was that statue there a minute ago?


To be continued.....

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon May 13, 2013 5:58 am

Been having a go with that gif thingy Eldo posted th elink to. Bit glitchy but...


How to deal with bad guys- Skyim style!










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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Eldorion on Mon May 13, 2013 6:04 am

Holy shit there's a lot of images on this page. Took forever to load. Shocked

GIFs are looking good though. Nod
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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by azriel on Mon May 13, 2013 1:43 pm

Enjoyed this ! No idea what its all about but SOOOO funny ! Liked how Dr Who joined the team ! Its a game ? yeah,yeah. but from my perspective, its entertaining & Id love to read/see more ! Cheerleader

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon May 13, 2013 3:22 pm

Its a game ?- Azriel

Yeah Skyrim one of the Elder Scrolls World games.
Although the Doctor isnt in the game! Very Happy (or Monty Python aliens)

"its entertaining & Id love to read/see more !"

Thank you Azriel, I stopped doing them as they took a fair bit of time and no one seemed that interested in the last few- but I might well do aother and see how it goes if you are enjoying it.

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by azriel on Mon May 13, 2013 4:41 pm

The add libs were very funny !! lol! I certainly WOULD read more.

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon May 13, 2013 7:28 pm

Then I will put together another one over the course of this week.

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Mrs Figg on Mon May 13, 2013 7:32 pm

can I be in it? bounce

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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon May 13, 2013 7:54 pm

Tricky- in that Id need pics of you and from various angles! I can only use your avator if in every shot you are in you are in the exact same pose and only your head is on screen! (I suppose I could take your head off and tranpslant it onto anothe character, mmmm, I wll see what I can do)

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A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldorion.


- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
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Pettytyrant101
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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Mrs Figg on Mon May 13, 2013 7:57 pm

take my head off, who are you? Henry V111.

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Mrs Figg
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Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon May 13, 2013 7:59 pm

Not fat enough.

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Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldorion.


- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
avatar
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 40889
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 47
Location : Scotshobbitland

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