The Hobwit

Page 2 of 7 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Ringdrotten on Sun Jun 12, 2011 12:52 pm

Finished the prologue, not sure what to expect next lol! lol!

_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen


avatar
Ringdrotten
Mrs Bear Grylls

Posts : 4512
Join date : 2011-02-13

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Orwell on Sun Jun 12, 2011 12:54 pm

Well, an unexpectedly long chapter for starts! Very Happy

_________________
"Skirts!" cried our respectable Master Odo. "Skirts! And they have the temerity to call them 'kilts'.... Eru darn my socks!"

From "The True Tale of the Un-magical Coal Scuttle."
avatar
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8702
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 100
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by odo banks on Sun Jun 19, 2011 2:38 am

To the Editor,
Archet Bugle,

Dear Lesbo,

I have noticed a Post-modernist aspect to this Hobwit Tale. I wish to lodge a complaint about that. Also, though it repulses me to have to even read the vulgar-bit-of-stuff (for the purpose of moral critiquing), I must tell you that I found "Mutton as Lamb" more poorly realized, and less well edited, than "An Unexpectedly Long Chapter", which repulsed me just as much, vulgarly speaking, if you know what I mean.

Please let me know why the lazy sluggard who wrote it hasn't rewritten it properly? For it is quite tiresome enough finding all the rude bits as it is without having to struggle through poor realization and stumble over pathetic editing!

Also, can you please let me know when the next chapter will be published, as I'm sure it will require a comesnsurate share of moral critique (by me), that's if the first two chapters are anything to go by.

yours faithfully,
Odo R. Banks

NB. Lesbo, have you seen Mirabella? Haven't sighted her for days but I hear she's taken up a room at your hole. Can you confirm or deny this rumour?

_________________
Respectability is never Disrespectability
avatar
odo banks
Respectable Hobbit of Needlehole

Posts : 1479
Join date : 2011-02-14
Location : Rushock Bog

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Ringdrotten on Sun Jun 19, 2011 6:24 pm

Read the first chapter - check Very Happy

It's a good thing I was the only one around when I read it, laughed out loud several times Very Happy "Bigbanga and Ballbanga Toot", a pipe-weed dealer called Druggo, the smoking sequence - I could go on and on lol! lol! Definitely not family friendly, though Very Happy

_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen


avatar
Ringdrotten
Mrs Bear Grylls

Posts : 4512
Join date : 2011-02-13

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Ringdrotten on Thu Jun 23, 2011 1:55 am

"Just as he puffed up, a dwarf was leading a pony around the thorny shrub, loaded with all sorts of packages and parcels of all shapes and sizes. The dwarf was quite unusual. He was six foot two tall, clean shaven, long of limb but strong looking, with yellow hair and an aquiline nose, not too pointy, but not too rounded or bulbous at the end. He wore a knitted green vest, long brown breaches - somewhat besmirched - and stout red boots, weathered but still in good enough condition for long treks over hill and through forest. On his handsome head - and he was very handsome - he wore a felt hat with a hatpin shaped in the likeness of a dragonfly. His eyes were those "come to bed eyes" you see in men who have spent time in Budapest. A strange kind of dwarf really, not the kind one often saw in Hobbiton, though sometimes in the western outskirts. Bango had never seen him before. He looked like a Man actually. "

This whole paragraph is priceless lol!


"We'll have to send off our burgler to check it out, just in case it's three trolls or something."


lol!



"In a small clearing he saw saw them, three tall creatures; tall ugly creatures. Trolls in fact. You can imagine his surprise."

Need more laughing emoticons!

That whole ranger sequence with the dwarves and Grandelf and Dwarfen's (funniest name in the story so far, by the way Laughing) intrusion is uproarious lol!

This is one of the funniest stories I've ever read, well done! I bow my head to the Master of Comedy cheers

PS:

"Lady of the Ring" - A LotR parody in the making? (need a hopeful emoticon!) And I hope you are working on the third chapter of this masterpiece? Very Happy

_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen


avatar
Ringdrotten
Mrs Bear Grylls

Posts : 4512
Join date : 2011-02-13

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by The Archet Bugle on Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:13 am

REMOVED FOR RENOVATION


Last edited by The Archet Bugle on Mon May 14, 2012 1:31 am; edited 13 times in total
avatar
The Archet Bugle
Forumshire's Most Respectable Journal

Posts : 698
Join date : 2011-02-16

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by The Archet Bugle on Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:16 am

Ringdrotten! What a coincidence! Very Happy
avatar
The Archet Bugle
Forumshire's Most Respectable Journal

Posts : 698
Join date : 2011-02-16

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Ringdrotten on Thu Jun 23, 2011 2:33 am

That song was certainly not family friendly lol! Can't wait for the next one Very Happy

_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen


avatar
Ringdrotten
Mrs Bear Grylls

Posts : 4512
Join date : 2011-02-13

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Ringdrotten on Fri Jun 24, 2011 7:11 pm

Thanks to our kind Admin I can now use smileys that illustrate how I must have looked when I read this wonderful tale:


_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen


avatar
Ringdrotten
Mrs Bear Grylls

Posts : 4512
Join date : 2011-02-13

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Eldorion on Fri Jun 24, 2011 7:23 pm

I'm glad you're enjoying smiley freedom. Very Happy Laughing
avatar
Eldorion
You're Gonna Carry That Weight

Posts : 23311
Join date : 2011-02-13
Age : 24
Location : Maryland, United States

https://purl.org/tolkien

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by The Archet Bugle on Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:49 am

REMOVED FOR RENOVATION


Last edited by The Archet Bugle on Mon May 14, 2012 1:31 am; edited 1 time in total
avatar
The Archet Bugle
Forumshire's Most Respectable Journal

Posts : 698
Join date : 2011-02-16

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by The Archet Bugle on Sat Aug 20, 2011 1:32 am

REMOVED FOR RENOVATION


Last edited by The Archet Bugle on Mon May 14, 2012 1:32 am; edited 1 time in total
avatar
The Archet Bugle
Forumshire's Most Respectable Journal

Posts : 698
Join date : 2011-02-16

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by The Archet Bugle on Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:55 am

REMOVED FOR RENOVATION


Last edited by The Archet Bugle on Mon May 14, 2012 1:32 am; edited 1 time in total
avatar
The Archet Bugle
Forumshire's Most Respectable Journal

Posts : 698
Join date : 2011-02-16

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Ringdrotten on Sat Aug 20, 2011 5:20 pm

Thanks for making my Saturday evening, Odo Laughing Now I don't miss the TV as much Very Happy

_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen


avatar
Ringdrotten
Mrs Bear Grylls

Posts : 4512
Join date : 2011-02-13

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by odo banks on Sat Aug 20, 2011 10:04 pm

Thanks? Shocked Thanks! Mad Look here, young man, I may sponsor "Wholesome Tales" and "Wholesome Poetry" which are published by the Archet Bugle, but this kind of vulgar, smutty boy humour is not something I'd poke with a barge pole! Who does the author of "The Hobwit" think he is, "Benny Hill"? Peurile is all I can say. Peurile and ridiculous and filthy sillyness. And not respectable at all. I'm amazed anyone could read this drivel in the first place. I roll my eyes to heaven every time I do - more violently each time - and pray for Illuvartars intervention to delete this sordid saucy kind of thing! I really don't know what this anonymous author will come up with next, except that it will be full of more of that dirty little boy salaciousness, and I don't for a second look forward to reading any of it! Not one word! Mad

_________________
Respectability is never Disrespectability
avatar
odo banks
Respectable Hobbit of Needlehole

Posts : 1479
Join date : 2011-02-14
Location : Rushock Bog

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by The Archet Bugle on Wed Sep 07, 2011 5:57 am

REMOVED FOR RENOVATION


Last edited by The Archet Bugle on Mon May 14, 2012 1:33 am; edited 1 time in total
avatar
The Archet Bugle
Forumshire's Most Respectable Journal

Posts : 698
Join date : 2011-02-16

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Orwell on Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:30 am

Nod

_________________
"Skirts!" cried our respectable Master Odo. "Skirts! And they have the temerity to call them 'kilts'.... Eru darn my socks!"

From "The True Tale of the Un-magical Coal Scuttle."
avatar
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8702
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 100
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by The Archet Bugle on Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:24 am

REMOVED FOR RENOVATION


Last edited by The Archet Bugle on Mon May 14, 2012 1:33 am; edited 1 time in total
avatar
The Archet Bugle
Forumshire's Most Respectable Journal

Posts : 698
Join date : 2011-02-16

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Ringdrotten on Sat Sep 10, 2011 5:48 pm

I knew the poem part had to be good, but this is hilarious Laughing Keep the chapters coming, I could use some more comedy around here Very Happy

_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen


avatar
Ringdrotten
Mrs Bear Grylls

Posts : 4512
Join date : 2011-02-13

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Orwell on Sat Sep 10, 2011 11:53 pm

I could not agree with you more, Ringo lad. Very Happy

Frankly, I find this Forum could do with a bit more humour -- And silliness! You, know, there's just not enough of it...

As to inaninty - well, I can't find a trace! Shocked

Actually, I don't mind a spot of sexual innuendo now and then - sadly, I have only found the occasional accidental innuendo here - funny notwithstanding... Laughing

To be frank, there is a lot of queer stuff going on, in Forumshire, but where are the japes, jokes and chuckles?

Good on you, Bugle! A lone voice! Good clean fun, (even if I prefer my fun to be a bit more naughty!)

{{{{We have Draconian Admin and Mods here, Ringo lad, and I'm 'fraid that's three tenth of problem! Rolling Eyes }}}}}

_________________
"Skirts!" cried our respectable Master Odo. "Skirts! And they have the temerity to call them 'kilts'.... Eru darn my socks!"

From "The True Tale of the Un-magical Coal Scuttle."
avatar
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8702
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 100
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Ringdrotten on Sun Sep 11, 2011 5:33 pm

I meant around here as in this bloody camp, not the forum (where I think there's plenty enough of it Laughing )

{{{{{{{{{ I agree about that admin and the moderators, though Mad }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen


avatar
Ringdrotten
Mrs Bear Grylls

Posts : 4512
Join date : 2011-02-13

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Orwell on Sun Sep 11, 2011 11:32 pm

I'm a keen observer of Archet Bugel publications like this, as you know, young Ringo Herring. As you seem something of a supporter too, I was wondering, are there things you think could be done better, jokes that don't work or just annoy, or things you think might be "spoofed" which have been overlooked, that kind of thing. You see, I have contacts within that lauadable rag (the Bugle, that is), and might be able to exert some pressure to improve "The Hobwit." It is obviously just a bit of fun, but I'm sure it also serves as excellent writing practice for it's extremely Anonymous Author, and we Forumshierer's should always encourage 'writing practice', now shouldn't we? Very Happy

_________________
"Skirts!" cried our respectable Master Odo. "Skirts! And they have the temerity to call them 'kilts'.... Eru darn my socks!"

From "The True Tale of the Un-magical Coal Scuttle."
avatar
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8702
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 100
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Ringdrotten on Mon Sep 12, 2011 6:58 pm

When I get some more time on my hands (this weekend, perhaps) I'll try to see if I can give you some more constructive feedback if you'd like. So far I've just been enjoying every new chapter without a thought about proper feedback. I'm looking forward to rereading it already Very Happy

_________________
“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen”. - Tom Cullen


avatar
Ringdrotten
Mrs Bear Grylls

Posts : 4512
Join date : 2011-02-13

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Pettytyrant101 on Mon Sep 12, 2011 7:50 pm

I hadn't realised the Bugle ws looking for feedback I have just een shamelessly enjoying it instead. {{{Don't tell the NotP I said that I'll lose my job- talking of which the latest delivery is late- again! Mad }}}

_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-



A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldorion.


- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
avatar
Pettytyrant101
Crabbitmeister

Posts : 41102
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 47
Location : Scotshobbitland

Back to top Go down

Re: The Hobwit

Post by Orwell on Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:10 am

I almost think it's time this story was moved on. I'll make enquiries with the extremely Anonymous Author and see what can be done! Mad

_________________
"Skirts!" cried our respectable Master Odo. "Skirts! And they have the temerity to call them 'kilts'.... Eru darn my socks!"

From "The True Tale of the Un-magical Coal Scuttle."
avatar
Orwell
Dark Presence with Gilt Edge

Posts : 8702
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 100
Location : Ozhobbitstan

Back to top Go down

Page 2 of 7 Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum